Hell & Back
by hirakohs
Summary: Alessandra Curtis will never be able to repay the man who dragged her out of hell and given her a reason to live. He'll never be able to fully understand why she swore to follow him, to the depths hell and back again - and again. [Levi x OC]
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

* * *

_Here I stand, helpless and left for dead._  
_Close your eyes, so many days go by._  
_Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right._  
_I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies._  
_I won't stay long, in this world so wrong_

* * *

Blood flew onto the floor as a boot met the side of the cadets face again. She grunted, trying to conceal the whimper that was desperate to escape past her lips. Her cheek was pressed up against the dirt, her brown hair fell out of it's pony tail long ago and was now sprawled out in a mess all over the floor. Her hand reached out and balled into a fist, dirt getting under her nails and tiny pebbles scratching against her palm. She heaved herself up with her left arm, the other falling limp at her side. Her eyes glanced up to meet another boot, she moved her head quickly,causing the boot to collide with the arm she was holding herself up with. She yelped, a faint cracking sound met her ears as she face planted into the dirt once more. The cadet coughed, dirt floating away from her in a small dust cloud. Her freckled cheeks were red and bruising, splashes of blood and dried dirt coating her face and hair.

"Stand up, cadet."

The brunette coughed again, her forehead resting on the dirt and sweat pouring down her face. Her uniform was no doubt sticking to her, and probably looked like she'd been rolling in dirt - because, really, that's exactly what she had been doing.

"I said," she earned a knee on her left side, "Stand up, cadet."

Gasping for air, she stood. Her vision was blurring and she could feel blood trickling down the corner of her mouth and down her neck. Her arms were limp at her sides and her knees were shaking.

"Can you fight?" The man asked, his tone showing that he had little to no concern for the injuries she had just sustained. Though, she didn't really expect him to.

She took a second to answer, her chapped lips smacking together in an attempt to get moisture on them, "Yes."

A scoff.

"You can't even hold your hands up, dipshit. How are you suppose to fight?"

"I will find a way," she answered through clenched teeth, her eyes and demeanor showing that she was not going to quit. Her knees were slightly bent and set a shoulder width apart, her shoulders were slightly hunched forward and he could see that her fractured or broken arm was attempting to move it's fingers in a fist. She was in a fighting stance.

"How many more months do you have left of training?" The man asked, taking a step towards her.

She felt her body tense, preparing for another hit. She answered carefully, "5 months... sir."

The man across from her pulled a face, "Don't call me sir. It's weird coming from your filthy mouth."

"Apologies."

"Curtis," the man pinched the bridge of his nose as he heaved a sigh. He released his nose and turned his back, walking away as he spoke, "Stand straight and follow me."

The brunette stood straight, trying to hid her limp as she followed after the Corporal. Cadets stared at her, whispering amongst each other as they saw her beaten down form walk through the crowds and halls. Most hoped she was going home, others questioned as to who she even was. She ignored the whispers, doing her best to keep up with the man in front of her who made no attempt to even help or yield to her desire to slow. To her surprise, they stopped in front of an office with a silver plate that read '_restricted_'. She was shoved inside, she nearly fell over her two feet if the man (who had shoved her in) didn't catch her by her hair and yank her back. She hissed at him, earning a harsh glare in return.

"So this must be Alessandra Curtis! I've heard so much about you!"

Alessandra jumped, turning her head sharply to the left and staring at the four eyed freak in front of her.

"Sorry!" The woman laughed, placing a hand on her chest, "I'm squad leader, Hanji Zoe. Nice to meet you!"

Alessandra made a face, taking a step back. She grunted when the Corporal who had led her to the room forcefully shoved her into a nearby seat. Hanji made her way over to her, getting really close to Alessandra's face and making the cadet uncomfortable.

"Levi, you sure did a number on her," Hanji mused loudly, her eyes tracing over the girls face and then moving downwards, "Did you break both her arms?"

Levi shrugged his shoulders, sitting across from Alessandra and giving her a bored expression. Hanji began rummaging through her medical kit, pulling out the needed supplies to treat Alessandra noticeable wounds. Alessandra avoided eye contact with either, not fully liking the attention that was brought on her and not liking the fact that she _needed_ their help.

"Alessandra."

Said woman's eyes flickered over to the man that spoke.

"You know why we're here, don't you?"

Alessandra looked away, her jaw tensing as she grind her teeth together, "I'm getting kicked out, aren't I?"

She yelped when a foot made contact with her side, Hanji jumped back as well - both persons shocked by the sudden action.

"Dumb ass," Levi scoffed, standing up and walking around Hanji. He grabbed Alessandra by the collar and yanked her forward, "You think Erwin would go through so much trouble just to get you here and then have you kicked out?"

The mention of the mans name made the woman's face harden, "I didn't need any favors! I was doing fine -"

"You were going to be kicked out if it weren't for him and I," Levi rolled his eyes, pushing Alessandra away from him and clapping his hands together, trying to rid himself of the dirt that stained her clothing, "You're leaving today. Erwin has made arrangements, you're no longer a cadet."

Alessandra could only blink, she felt her fractured arm being splinted up by Hanji - who hummed happily.

"Welcome to the Scouting Legion," Hanji mused, smiling up at Alessandra before going back to her arm.

"I -" Alessandra froze, completely taken aback. She closed her mouth, her brows furrowing together as she slowly began lowering in shame. She fucked up, she was no good to them and after all she's done they still ask her to join them at their sides, "I'm sorry."

Levi hummed, "_Hoh_? Where'd the dipshit go?"

Alessandra kept her head bowed, her voice was quiet as she wallowed in a pool of self pity, "I'm sorry, sir."

She gasped when she was forced to look up, Levi's hand was placed firmly on her head and he was in her face yet again, "I told you already, I don't want to hear you call me sir. Don't put up this shitty victim act either. You know why I'm here, you know that Erwin wants to be. Now grow the fuck up and quickly, I don't feel like baby sitting your sorry ass."

Alessandra could only blink, her mouth parting slightly from surprise. Clearing her throat, she nodded and looked up, her brows knitted together, "I'm sorry, Levi."

Levi sniffed, plopping himself down in the chair once more. Hanji looked up at Alessandra, an amused smile on her face, "I'm going to have to pop your arm back in it's socket."

Alessandra frowned, shooting a glare over at the Corporal - he only raised his shoulders in an indifferent shrug.

"I'll give you to the count of 5," Hanji smiled, picking up the girls arm. Alessandra's face formed a grimace and she turned away, "One, two, three."

Hanji didn't finish counting, instead she quickly popped the girls arm back into place - leaving the brunette to only whine in response. The woman shot a curse at Hanji, rolling the placed arm around.

"Alessandra."

The woman turned to the Corporal, her face still in a grimace from the pain in her previously dislocated arm, "Yes?"

"Do you hate me as much as you hate them?"

Alessandra's jaw tensed and both Survey Corps members noticed her face flush, "Hate you?"

"For earlier,"Levi clarified before repeating his question, "Do you hate me as much as you hate them?"

"No," Alessandra snapped, her right hand balling into a fist, "I don't."

Levi looked at her as she ran a hand through her dirty hair, "Good."

"Are you ready to go?" Hanji asked in a quick attempt to change the subject, she could feel Alessandra's anger begin to diminish.

Alessandra glanced over at the woman, her brows knitting together, "I need to get my things -"

"Packed," Hanji grinned, using her thumb to point towards the end of the table, "I packed it during your spar with Levi."

"Is that what that was called," Alessandra muttered, her eyes looking towards the trunk before she spoke up, "Then that's all I have."

Levi stood, adjusting his cravat, while Hanji looked at Alessandra oddly, "You don't want to say goodbye to anyone?"

Levi snorted while Alessandra just grabbed her bag and snarled, "I came here to train, not to make friends."

Hanji chuckled as she followed behind Levi, Alessandra following behind her, "I see why Erwin and Levi took a liking to you."

"And why is that?" Alessandra mused.

"You're to the point," Hanji exclaimed, throwing an arm around Alessandra's shoulders, "You look like a fighter too, judging by the cut on Levi's cheek."

"Shut up, you fuckin' four eyes."

* * *

[**disclaimer**: I do not own any recognizable characters, they belong to Isayama. The only characters I take claim to are Alessandra and Tevin.]

{**authors corner**: thank you for reading! This is my first SNK fanfic. This story will follow the through the anime, maybe the manga - no promises yet. Please let me know how this is and thank you for reading! Rating is M for language and future situations in later chapters.}


	2. Headache

**CHAPTER ONE: HEADACHE**

* * *

_I am with you always,_  
_From the darkness of night until the morning_  
_I am with you always,_  
_From life until death takes me_

* * *

Alessandra Curtis stood at the exit of the military cells. Her back arched, shoulders back, and eyes peering around her, occasionally meeting the gazes of the other two military policemen present. One gulped under her gaze while the second merely looked annoyed. She had shrugged them off, not interested in the slightest with the officers. Her dark brown hair was in a long braid over her left shoulder, dark hair messily covering her left eye as it usually did. Her eyes, a distinct pale blue, pierced forward. The officers at her sides were a good head or two taller than her., but her posture showed no signs of weakness because of her short stature. She slowly paced back and forth in front of the entrance to the dungeon, keeping her gaze towards the darkly lit stone hallways. The two men that she accompanied had been down there for a least an hour now, and she was impatient after only 10 minutes. She slouched now, her right hand reaching up to finger the string necklace around her neck. The man to her right shook slightly with a silent rage and she looked at him, blinking lazily up at him and silently wondering if he had to shit or if someone took a shit on him. She sighed inwardly, cursing the Corporal for rubbing off on her.

"Is there something you have to say?" One officer snapped at her, finally breaking the silence. He broke his solid stance, hunching over and leaning forward towards Alessandra. She took a step back as his hot breath hit her face, the brunette grimaced and waved a hand in front of your face. Shooting a distasteful grimace towards the red-headed officer.

"First of all, do you own a tooth-brush?" Alessandra muttered, her voice showing how her lack of interest in the mans fury, "Is there anything _you_ have to say?"

His face reddened, pointing an angry finger at her, shaking as he talked, "You walk around here all high and mighty, staring at me with judgement written all over your face. You think you're better than me just because of the people you walked in with! It's a wonder how you haven't become titan food yet! You have no right to look at me the way you do!"

Alessandra couldn't help the wide cocky smirk that made its way to her face, her impatient and grumpy mood had completely vanished now. She couldn't deny a good fight, especially one she knew she could easily win, "_Oh_?"

The soldier's jaw and hands clenched tightly, his breathing increasing and becoming harder. She almost laughed as his face became as fiery as his hair, "You're a fucking brat."

"Is that any way to talk to a lady?" Alessandra quipped, her eyes narrowing into a glare. She looked the officer up and down, her glare only hardening as she took a step towards him, "None the less, there _is_ a reason I haven't become titan food. Except, my reason isn't cowardly, unlike you - _you_ who lives comfortably inside the walls. Tell me, did you piss those nice white pants of yours upon hearing that a titan shifter is right below you? Really, I'd love to know."

The man matched her glare, not daring to utter another word. Alessandra scoffed and smirked at her victory, it was always fun to win against a man whose ego is bigger than his wit. She straightened herself again when she heard a pair of footsteps approaching. Turning her head to look over her shoulder, she saw the two men she had accompanied. She set her hands behind her back and held them together, pushing her shoulders back so she stood up straighter, and lastly looking forward as if she hadn't broken out of character. She quickly dropped her smirk and glare and moved her attention in front of her, ignoring the red-faced officer once more.

"Alessandra, let's go," her captain called, walking past her briskly.

Alessandra's next actions were quick. She took a single step, and quickly turned her body, swiping her foot under the officers feet - causing the man to stumble and fall face first into the floor. A groan and cursed escaped his lips as he fumbled to stand quickly, the other officer muttering awkwardly under his breath as he attempted to help the red-faced officer up. After that, she quickened her pace to meet up with the two men, her braid trailing behind her messily.

Levi and Erwin glanced over their shoulders as they walked, both of them looking from the officer to a cocky looking Alessandra. Her lips were tugged into a small smirk, and her eyes were focused forward, watching the backs of the two in front of her. She quirked a brow at them when they had stared at her, and with a small shrug of her shoulders she replied nonchalantly, her smirk only growing wider, "_What_? My foot slipped, I couldn't see him."

Erwin smirked lightly as he looked ahead, while Levi had scoffed in annoyance. They exited the Military Police headquarters and entered the carriage they had arrive at the headquarters in. Erwin sat on his own, while Alessandra sat to the left of Levi. The woman crossed her legs in a lady-like manner, Levi crossing his arms across his chest while Erwin set his intertwined fingers on his lap. Alessandra waited a moment, making sure the door of the cart was closed and only spoke when the cart began moving. Alessandra watched for a minute as the streets of the clean city passed by the cart window. With a tense jaw and jealous eyes she reached over, closing the curtains of the cart harshly, averting her eyes from the window. She looked at the two men in the cart, both of them looking at her as well.

Alessandra titled her head downwards slightly, her dark hair casting a shadow over her squinted eyes and her tone serious, "Was he dangerous?"

"I don't think he has any intentions of going against us, if that's what you mean," Erwin answered, honestly. The brunette looked cautiously at Erwin, taking in his composure, and as always, no sign of a lie escape from him. Not that she didn't trust the man, she trusted him with all of humanity - her life and the lives of the people she cared about. She learned to trust him strangely quick, something that threw her off about him. But she learned, just as she had learned to trust a few people that had the honor of being her friends. Reading people was an old habit of hers that was hard for her to break.

"Tomorrow is the trial, correct?" Alessandra continued to ask, she noticed Levi uncrossed his arms from the corner of her eye and Erwin sat up straighter.

"Tomorrow," Erwin nodded, "I'm going to ask that you go along with Hanji and Mike tomorrow. Eren is to be escorted in by two military police officers _and_ you. We received permission for this today. As you probably know we don't trust the Military Police, they want him dead. And we only hope Eren doesn't do or say anything foolish to get himself killed. I'm going to make a request that if things get out of hand - "

"Of course," Alessandra interrupted the man with a sigh, crossing her arms over her chest, "Protect him, right?"

"Yes," Erwin answered with a stiff nod, glad that she understood so quickly. His face relaxed some and he titled his head slightly as he spoke again, "Now, what was that back there?"

Alessandra's cocky smirk made its way onto her face again, to this Levi scoffed and finally spoke, "Get that stupid look off your face, Alessandra."

Alessandra uncrossed her legs and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. She tried to conceal a smirk, but failed as she spoke, "Erwin, as I said before - I couldn't see him."

"If I recall, he was to your right," Erwin pressed, obviously amused. Levi only rolled his eyes at the two, his eyes still trained on Alessandra.

The brunette couldn't help but give the Commander a stupid grin, she lifted her hands and shrugged sheepishly, "He just got on my nerves, Commander."

Levi scoffed, dragging his eyes over Alessandra's sheepish face, "One day you're going to get yourself into trouble and you're going to shit yourself when no one comes to help."

"I'm sure I've already done that one too many times, sir," Alessandra answered back. And it was true. Although a great solider, the woman was known by her friends for being ungraceful, short tempered, sarcastic and an overall asshole most of the time - in her trainee days she was constantly in trouble, getting in fight after fight with other trainee's. Eventually, Levi had put her in her place.

_Partly_.

Though, she was still an asshole, it was really only to the people she cared about, and they eventually learned it was her way of showing affection. Hell would freeze over before Alessandra hugged one of them, but put their face into dirt? Oh, they must have done something right.

"Shut up, Curtis."

"Yes, sir," Alessandra answered back politely, a smirk still playing at her lips as she used her hand in a weak attempt to conceal it. Erwin shook his head, closing his eyes as a small smile slipped onto his lips.

"You have a plan, I assume?" Levi asked, looking at Erwin. The blond opened his eyes and nodded.

"Of course."

"Is he really worth sticking our necks out for?" Alessandra asked, clenching and unclenching her fist so she could crack her fingers. Her hair casted a shadow over her eyes once more, and it was obvious that she was still wary of the titan shifter. After all, titans were the sworn enemy - right? Erwin stared at the woman, she knew of pain and she knew how to endure it - as well as cause it. And it was all _painfully_ obvious just by looking at her face closely. Erwin suddenly remembered why she was one of the few people he fully trusted. Alessandra was one of those people who he is glad was on his side, for having her as an enemy would be nothing but trouble and annoyance, "I'll kill him, if you ask me to."

"There will be no need," Erwin shook his head, "I truly believe that we can use him, Alessandra. And use him to our advantage."

"Advantage against the titans, even though he is one?"Alessandra asked, lifting her chin and squinting her eyes. She did not trust the titan shifter one bit, but she trued Erwin's judgement. If the man instructed her to die, she would. She had faith in him, and held Erwin in a high regard. She held Levi at an equal status, but followed him more closely than she did Erwin. Though, no one dared talk ill about either in front of her.

"Yes."

Alessandra stared at her Commander before nodding silently and turning her head away to the _almost_ closed curtain, a small sliver of the town was visible through the crack between the curtains, "I trust you."

"Of course you do," Levi muttered, setting a hand on to of Alessandra's head forcing her face him, "Now shut up, Curtis. You're giving me a headache."

"I always give you a headache, sir."

* * *

[**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own any recognizable characters, they belong to Isayama. The only characters I take claim to are Alessandra and Tevin.]

{**AUTHORS CORNER**: Sorry it's short! Thank you for the reviews on the first chapter! They really mean _**SO**_ much. While the last chapter was a flashback, this is where the story begins. I'm sorry it's boring! But the first couple chapters will show Alessandra's dedication towards Erwin and, _of course_, Levi. The reasoning behind this will show up later and I promise this story will be good. I have about 15,000+ words already written out and I am in the process of editing. Please comment and tell me if I misspelled or if I wrote something wrong!}

{**EXTRA NOTE**: I have an idea of writing my head canons at the end of every chapter? Would anyone even read this far? I'll write one anyway.}

[[**HEAD CANON 1**: Alessandra often arm wrestles with Mike when they're both tired of paper work. She's only won against the "serial sniffer" once.]]


	3. Babysitter

**CHAPTER TWO: BABYSITTER**

* * *

_I reach towards the sky I've said my goodbyes_  
_My heart's always with you now_  
_I won't question why so many have died_  
_My prayers have made it through _  
_'Cause with all these things we do_  
_It don't matter when I'm coming home to you_

* * *

Alessandra woke up with a start, sweat was sticking to her forehead and her heart was beating so fast she could feel her head pounding along. She leaned forward, her breathing heavy and eyes still wide as she stared at her shaking hands. She could _feel_ it all around her, see the memory so vividly as she had _just_ seen it in her dream. Her arms moved to hug herself, her nails clawing into her upper arms for the briefest of seconds. She let go of her arms, and pushed her sweaty hair back, dragging her hands across her face as she attempted to steady her breathing. Her hands hovered over her face, shaking as they made their way into her hair again. Her breathing was loud and shaky and she couldn't even attempt to breath in and out heavily as she had been taught Her eyes were wide as she leaned back, taking in her environment. She was in her room, her private quarters that she had earned over the years. A large dresser was across from her bed, a small nightstand beside her with a photo and a necklace laying on top. She picked up the photo softly, wiping the few specks of dust off of the faces. This seemed to calm her down some, just staring at the photo and thinking of how and when the photo was taken. The woman groaned softly before swinging her feet to the side of her bed and pushing herself up, setting the polaroid back onto the night stand. She stretched her body, removing her clothes and messily tossing them to the floor as she made her way into the bathroom.

She stared at herself, the mirror showing her from the waist up. Showing the ugly scars that adorned her body, followed by the bruises from the straps of her 3DMG, little cuts were placed here and there over her body from her ungraceful landings on missions and little mishaps with the Corporal. She ran a hand through her hair as she stepped into the shower, scrubbing some parts of her skin until it was red and raw. Memories of the dream flooded back to her mind and her anger grew as she continued to wash up. Once slightly satisfied she exited the shower, quickly drying her reddened skin and dressing into new under garments. She looked at her reflection once more and sighed, making her way back into the room, and pulling out her nice clean uniform. She slipped on the light blue v-neck she usually wore, and then slipped on the necklace she _always_ wore (just not when she was sleeping) - tucking the charm inside of her shirt. She took her time putting on the rest of her outfit, making sure that she looked nice and neat. After everything was in it's place she went back to the bathroom, attempted to fix her messy hair - but ultimately left it as it was.

Messy.

The rest of her, however, would be up to Levi's standards.

"What the fuck is on your head?"

Alessandra turned to glare at the man as he stood leaning against the door frame of the bathroom, "My hair, _sir_."

"It looks like shit, Alessandra. I'm going to make you run laps around the building until you're crawling when we get back."

Alessandra narrowed her eyes, and looked into the mirror once more. Her brown hair was braided and pulled over her left shoulder, her hair was messily in front of her left eye - as per usual. Alessandra lazily attempted to pat down her hair again, in a feeble attempt to satisfy the neat freak.

"It's no use," Levi stated, standing up from his leaning position, "You took your sweet ass time getting ready, Hanji and Mike are already waiting for you."

Alessandra sighed tiredly and patted her hair down once more before making her way past Levi, before she could get passed him he abruptly grabbed her upper arm - immediately halting her. She gazed at him through the corner of her right eye, his gaze meeting hers fiercely. He took a moment to speak, his dark grey eyes staring into her pale blue ones.

"Take the knife, don't let anyone do anything stupid."

Alessandra soaked in his words for a few seconds before she stiffly nodded, her tone soft, "Okay."

He let go of her arm and watched as she made her way towards the night stand beside her bed, opening one of the drawers and pulling out a long knife about the size of her forearm. From his standing point he could see the detailed and intricate designs on the leather handle and the initials **_A.C._** on the sheath. She attached it to her thigh before nodding back at Levi and leaving the room. He stood there for a moment before letting his eyes wander around, noticing how everything was clean except for her sleeping clothes that were spewed over the floor around her bed. He scoffed, muttering a 'brat' under his breath as picked them up.

* * *

Alessandra's boots made little sound as she followed Mike and Hanji down the hallways of the Military Police's dungeon. She didn't want to follow them down here, seeing as it was dark and gross - her dream didn't help ease the feeling in the pit of her stomach either. She narrowed her eyes when Hanji and Mike stopped in front of - she assumed- Eren's cell. Hanji - not bothering to hide her excitement - literally slammed herself against Eren's cell. The smaller woman remained out of sight, tilting her head slightly when Hanji began to speak.

"You must be Eren," She gushed, a large smile on her face as she rushed out more and more questions, not bothering to let the Eren answer, "Are you okay? How're things going? Sorry for the long wait. You can finally come out now_..._ You have to put these on, though."

The woman couldn't help but roll her eyes at Hanji as she shoved the cuffs through the bars of the cell door. Alessandra tilted her head up when Mike walked past her, rubbing his nose as he stepped beside Hanji. The cuffs that were handed to Eren made a good amount of noise as he struggled to put them on by himself, his soft grunting meeting the ears of the 3 Survey Corps veterans as they patiently waited for him to be done. Alessandra scratched her cheek lazily as she took another step forward, so she could see the titan shifter. She wasn't really expecting him to be so young, she nearly forgot that she was told he was only 15. A _boy_. He was a nothing but a teenage boy. **But**, he was also a titan shifter and wanted dead by many. The Military Police were going to try their drunken hearts outs to make sure of that, but Alessandra had faith in Erwin, _and_ in Levi. She saw the two of them talking over tea the night before and Erwin had told her she was welcomed to listen in on their conversation. She, however, didn't join them because she simply didn't like tea.

Alessandra heard the cell door open and she pressed herself against the wall, waiting for Mike and Hanji to pass with the boy before she would follow. Alessandra didn't mind hovering behind at all, it's how she usually was and it's actually what she preferred. She wasn't a natural leader, not like Erwin or Levi - or even Hanji and Mike. She was a follower, a loyal and dedicated one. But she was just that, and only that - a follower. She could take charge as second in command on missions, but she would never lead a team of her own. Not like she could, anyway.

They began to walk, Hanji and Mike in front, Alessandra in the middle, and two Military Police officers behind her.

"I'm Hanji Zoe," Hanji began, a smile on her face as she set a hand on her chest, "Squad Leader within the Scout Regiment."

Alessandra suppressed a chuckle when Mike began to sniff around Eren, the boy made an awkward noise as he tilted his head forward to get away from Mike.

The first time the man had done that to her, she had stuffed his face into the floor within seconds - yelling profanities at him the entire time. After getting a slap on the wrist from Erwin, Mike had brushed it off with a laugh and a hand on her shoulder, telling her she smelled like soap and grass. Again, she attempted to bury his face into the floor, but was ultimately stopped by Levi holding her down.

"That's Mike Zacharias, also a squad leader," Hanji continued, not at all bothered Eren's uncomfortable posture, "He has a habit of smelling people he meets for the first time. _And_ then smirking afterward. I don't think it means anything, though. He may not look it, but he has what it takes to be a squad leader."

"I sure hope so," Alessandra muttered jokingly. Mike looked over his shoulder and winked at Alessandra, who in turn suppressed a laugh.

Eren jumped, looking over his shoulders with wide eyes. She knew she was being quiet, but she didn't know she was so quiet that the boy hadn't seen her at all.

Hanji smiled, "And _that_ is Alessandra Curtis, although not a squad leader she definitely has the power of one."

Alessandra nodded her head at Eren, noticing that the double doors to the court was right ahead of them.

Hanji groaned, "Oh, sorry! I talk too much. We're already here."

Alessandra stepped forward, getting a firm grip on Eren's upper arm and shoving him forward as Hanji opened the doors. She stopped for a second as Hanji began to speak again.

"But that's okay, it's better if we don't explain," Hanji continued, speaking once more just before she shut the doors, "I wish you luck."

Alessandra nodded towards Hanji and Mike as the doors finally shut and locked. She raised a hand to the officers who were about to shove Eren forward with the tip of their guns. Instead, she used her foot to shove him forward. Eren was wide eyed as he gazed around the court room, looking like a lost child in a market full of people. Alessandra almost felt bad for him, but she couldn't - **_wouldn't_**.

He stumbled but didn't move forward, still gazing around in confusion. One of the military police officers shoved him forward with the end of his gun, while the other when to go get the the pole that Eren would be cuffed against. Alessandra sighed as he walked forward feebly, again reminding her of a calf. She grabbed him once more by the collar, forcing him to his knees in front of the pole. She knelt slightly in front of him, keeping her distance but making sure he didn't struggle against the cuffs of the pole the MP officers were retrieving.

The officer slide the pole into place and Eren slightly shuffled with his cuffs, moving them from side to side as to figure out what he was trapped by. Eren snapped his head up and looked at Alessandra, her emotions were void and nonexistent now. Her lips set into a thin line and the eye that wasn't covered with her hair held no emotion that Eren could read.

Her voice was soft and barely audible, but her close proximity allowed Eren to hang off of every word, "We're putting all our trust into you."

She gave him a curt nod and stood, walking into the pews at the head of the courthouse, standing beside Commander Erwin. She placed her hands behind her back obediently, not even giving either of the men a sign of hello. She stood with her shoulders back and her jaw tense, her eyes snapping forward when Darius Zackly, head of the military, entered the room. Alessandra tilted her head to the side slightly, attempting to get her hair in front of her left eye.

"Shall we begin then?" He adjusted his glasses, reading the paper that was laid in front of him, "You are Eren Jaeger, correct? You are a soldier sworn to protect the public. Is this correct?"

Alessandra's gaze shot over to Eren as he muttered his response, "Yes."

"This are exceptional circumstances. This hearing will be a military tribunal where ordinary laws don't apply. I have been given the authority to make all judgements. This examination will determine whether you live or die. Any objections?"

Alessandra glanced at the boy again, his demeanor deflated, his eyes still as wide as they were when she brought him in, "No."

She sighed quietly to herself, quite happy that he didn't object or try to fight. That probably wouldn't help their case, but benefit the MP's case instead. Alessandra glanced around the room, gazing at all the faces of the people in there, blocking out the sound of Zackly's voice as he spoke words she knew would be spoken. She felt the gaze of a couple officers and she resisted the urge to sneer at them. Any other time she would have, but the fact that she was standing beside _Commander_ Erwin at such an important time, she couldn't. She groaned inwardly, she hated these types of things, so serious. It was hard for her to not fidget. Levi often scolded her on not being able to sit still. She just wasn't one to sit idly by, or fill out papers for hours. She had to do something - whether it be work out or tend to her horse.

She couldn't be as serious as Levi or Erwin unless it was outside the walls, or unless the things outside the walls got in.

_Then again, he is one of the things we hunt outside the walls, _she thought, narrowing her eyes at the boy.

She wanted to groan and throw her head back when the military police began their speech. If this were any other time, and if it weren't serious - Alessandra would have said something to make the man stop talking. Something about Nile Dawk always bothered her, but then again, the Military Police as a whole bothered her. They were lazy, egotistical, cowardly, drunks who did nothing for the greater of humanity. But, that was _her_ job. And Erwin's, Levi's, Hanji's... It was their job, as members of the Scouting Legion. Still, her stubborn and hot headed nature was not sympathetic to those living in comfort.

The preacher who began to speak wildly earned a hard glare from her, her lip quivering up into a snarl only stopping when Zackly said that it was now Erwin's turn to speak. She composed herself quickly, setting her shoulders back and lips into a thin line, knowing people would be staring in her general direction now.

Alessandra almost laughed at how short Erwin's proposal was, it was quite typical from the man. She knew there was more, but it was always amusing as to how Erwin's mind worked. She closed her eyes, listening to his plan that she had briefly heard once before but was too lazy to actually sit through.

A merchant immediately objected to Erwin's ideas, and Alessandra tightened her jaw to prevent herself from saying anything. It truly was hard for her to keep her mouth shut, so she was really relieved when she heard the voice of her Captain speak up.

"You sure talk a lot for a fat pig," Levi stated. Alessandra opened her eyes and looked at Levi and Erwin through the peripheral of her right eye, "What guarantee do we have that the Titans will wait for us while we seal and reinforce the gates? When you say 'we', you're talking about the friends you're protecting so you can get fat. You pigs don't even notice the people who are struggling to eat because there isn't enough land."

Alessandra closed her eyes and smiled, she was glad for her Captain, glad that he knew the same struggles she and many others had gone though. Opening her eyes she glanced at her Captain again to see he was looking at her. With a cocky smirk, she looked forward and suppressed a laugh as she heard him quietly 'tch'. She narrowed her eyes when she heard about Eren's actions while in his Titan form. Eren gasped loudly, turning his head and staring at someone. Alessandra suppressed a groan as she heard Mikasa Ackerman speak, she began to babble after she answered Zackly's question about how good Eren really was. But Alessandra knew that she was too emotionally involved as a person, the MP would use that against her.

_And_ as she had thought it, Nile Dawk began to state the exact same thing.

Alessandra's eyebrows furrowed together hearing about the killing the two did when they were mere children. With a glance at Eren, Alessandra almost felt bad again, but her feelings quickly turned when she heard the merchants and preachers begin to panic, pointing fingers at Eren again - and even going as far as to accuse Mikasa Ackerman of being a Titan shifter. Eren began to yell back, defending the girl. She had to hand it to Eren, though, he was fiercely loyal to her. But the more he continued to yell, the more faces began to panic and the more fearful the Military Police officers looked. Her eyes snapped towards Nile Dawk when she heard him yell out an order.

"Take aim!"

Alessandra's eyes narrowed quickly, her hand grabbing onto the handle of the knife as she made a gesture to move forward - everyone was getting too out of hand now and she had kept her word to Erwin and Levi.

She was stopped though, when Levi's foot made contact with Eren's face sending one of the titan shifters teeth flying onto the floor and patting around softly. Blood spewed into the air and began dripping from the side of Eren's mouth and Levi continued his tirade, not stopping as he knee'd and kicked the boy harshly. Bruises began to form all over his face, specks of blood dripping onto Eren's clothes. Within seconds the boy had gone from scratch free to bloody, bruised and swollen. Alessandra resisted the urge to rub her shoulder as a memory of a similar beating entered her mind. Instead, she took a step back beside Erwin again, relaxing her hold on the handle of the knife.

"This is just my personal philosophy," Levi began, his voice loud and clear throughout the court room, "I think pain is the most effective punishment. What you need now can't be taught by words, only action. You're bent over on your knees, which makes you easy to kick."

Alessandra almost snorted at this, but watched silently as Levi began to kick Eren again. She smirked softly when the MP's Commander stopped Levi, she wanted to call across the court room and ask him what he was so afraid of.

"What?" Levi asked, lazily looking at Dawk.

"It's dangerous. What if he gets mad and turns into a titan?"

Alessandra raised a single slender brow, _I'd kill him before he could hurt anyone I cared about_.

"What are you talking about?" Levi asked, picking up Eren by his hair and shoving his face in the direction of the MP Commander, "Weren't you guys going to dissect this guy? I heard this guys titan form killed 20 titans before stopping from exhaustion. If he's an enemy, his intelligence could be troublesome. But then, he's not _my_ enemy. But what about you people? You guys who persecuted him better think about that. Can you _really_ kill this guy?"

Erwin raised his hand from beside her and spoke to Zackly once more, and as the words began leaving Erwin's lips Alessandra began to put the pieces of his plan together. She wanted to glare at Levi and Erwin, now she would be babysitting. That didn't sound like fun at all, but it did give her something to do all day - and someone new to pick on. But, none the less, the Survery Corps received full custody of Eren Jaeger - making her grin in satisfaction.

The Military Police officers left first, and Alessandra walked in Eren's direction - waiting for the MP officers to retract the pole and remove the boys cuffs. She cocked a hip and stood beside Levi, "No mercy, huh?"

Levi rolled his eyes at the woman. Both their eyes traveled over to Zackly when he had called the brunettes name. She visibly flinched, her lower lip jutting out slightly as she made her way to the older man. She roughly placed her fist on her heart as she saluted him, "Sir?"

"You're forgetting something, Miss Curtis," he stated, his voice flat and monotonous.

Alessandra turned her head to the left, "My apologies, sir. I won't forget it next time."

"I understand it's troublesome," Zackly started to speak, taking a step past her, "But we've already bent many rules for you. At least comply to this small one."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Man, that was vicious," Hanji spoke up, pressing gauze to Eren's wounds.

"That was nothing," Alessandra rolled her eyes from her position besides Mike, she looked at the blonde and pointed a finger toward her left arm, "Levi broke one arm and pulled the other from it's socket some years ago."

Hanji chuckled and Eren just stared at Alessandra, wide eyed.

"Does it hurt much?" She asked, using her chin to motion towards Eren. Her hair moved further into her face as she nodded her head, her pale blue eye looking at Eren with a slight curiosity.

He pressed a cloth to his cheek, looking away from her gaze, "A little..."

"So, how does it hurt?" Hanji pressed, her face beaming with excitement. Alessandra chuckled, making her way to the left of Hanji, peering down at the boy. Erwin took this time and walked over, apologizing for the measure that had to be taken in order to gain custody. During his speech Alessandra turned to Mike and began to mock the Commander by opening and closing her mouth, pretending to speak when he did. Mike rolled his eyes at the female, ruffling her hair playfully as he shushed her. She playfully slapped his hand and pouted at him, before turning to speak as soon as Erwin was done.

"He's never going to grow up if you baby him with all this kindness, Erwin," Alessandra stated as she patted down her hair. Levi plopped down in the seat beside Eren, looking at the boy with the same stoic expression he always held.

"Shut up, Alessandra," He ordered, "So, Eren. Do you resent me?"

Alessandra laughed softly, he had asked her something similar after he beat the shit out of her.

"You could've held back a bit," Hanji stated, leaning a forearm on Alessandra's shoulder, using her as a ledge as she held her hand out to show Eren his tooth.

Alessandra jumped away from the woman with a grimace, both her and Levi saying the same thing at roughly the same time, "That's disgusting."

"It's a valuable sample," Hanji blinked, not at all bothered.

Alessandra pinched the bridge of her nose, "Hanji is more preferable compared to being dissected by the Military Police, no? Eren?"

"I'm not like them, I wouldn't kill Eren," Hanji smiled, excitedly she pushed herself closer to the titan shifter. Her whole demeanor bubbling with excitement and curiosity, "Eren let me see inside your mouth!"

Alessandra pulled a disgusted face, taking a couple steps forward to stand beside the scientist. Hanji stared inside the boys mouth for a moment before her lips parted and she gasped, muttering out the next words, "It's... already growing back."

"That's disgusting," Alessandra stated, pulling a face as she leaned forward in an attempt to better see inside the boys mouth, "You need to brush better."

* * *

[**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own any recognizable characters, they belong to Isayama. The only characters I take claim to are Alessandra and Tevin.]

{**AUTHORS CORNER**: Thank you for reading, commenting, subscribing and favoriting this story! Could I get at least 3 reviews before I update? _Please_? Again, thank you for reading!}

[**INTRO SONG CREDIT**: Gunslinger by Avenged Sevenfold]

[[**HEAD CANON 2**: Alessandra is the only person who knows how to make Levi's tea perfectly, she often messes up on purpose just to annoy the man.]]


	4. Mirrors

**CHAPTER THREE: MIRRORS**

* * *

_If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain?_  
_'Cause I remember everything._  
_If I could help you forget, would you take my regrets?_  
_'Cause I remember everything._

* * *

Alessandra yawned, removing one of her hands from the reigns to cover her mouth as she did so. She blinked her eyes tiredly as she looked at her horse, stroking the side of the horse's neck lovingly. She smiled and gave the tan horse, who she had named Vin, a firm pat. The horse was her pride and joy, she treated the animal better than she did most people. Few knew why - actually only Levi really knew why because she had _told_ him. Erwin had a solid _guess_, but she never really felt the need to tell the blond - he always knew things before she told him anyway. The horse was beautiful, tan in color with a blond mane that she often cut and combed herself. The dark eyes of the horse seemed to stare deep into anyones soul, creeping nearly everyone else out. But Alessandra adored the horse, saying that the eyes were the most memorable part.

She looked up and away from Vin and looked ahead at the rest of the squad. She was in the back, as she usually was. Alessandra was always positioned to the back and to the left of everyone, it was routine and something everyone was accustomed to. Her pale blue gaze found Olou's back as he continued to babble on and on about the castle they were going to. With a smirk she leaned forward slightly, her eyebrows raising in amusement.

"Oi, Olou," She began, catching the attention of everyone. They all turned their heads to look at the petite girl, her lips twisted in a mocking smirk, the hood of her cloak casting a shadow over her pale blue's, "Shut the fuck up already, I'm sure Eren is bored to death by your continuous babble. And if he's not, I'm sure your voice is enough to make him want to go deaf."

"Such a brat," Olou hissed back at her, he was about to continue but his horse galloped over a rock, causing the fanboy to bite down on his tongue roughly. Alessandra snickered as she gazed from Olou to Eren, the boy looked terrified as blood began falling like a faucet from Olou's mouth. She laughed and quickly covered her mouth with her hand, this earned her a dull glare from the Corporal. The woman gave him a sheepish grin, fanning her face softly with her hand as she spoke.

"Should've just shut up."

A sharp glare was sent her way by Olou, whose mouth and hand were dripping with blood at this point. The rest of the squad either rolled their eyes or sighed, as this was never anything new. Alessandra's snark and rude remarks and Olou biting his tongue were all too familiar for the Special Operations Squad. If her attention wasn't occupied with the easily annoyed Levi try-hard, then she was consumed in a conversation with the Corporal.

"Uhm," Eren's voice met everyone's ears and Alessandra looked away from Olou and towards the titan shifter. He was looking over his shoulder, shyly looking at the woman behind him, "Miss Alessandra?"

Alessandra made a noise, telling Eren that she heard him. He continued, glancing from over his shoulder to her horse and back up to meet her eyes, "I don't want this to sound rude, but you said that Captain Levi had... uhm."

"Beat the shit out of me," Alessandra finished the boys statement, her amusement back again and Levi had only glared at the woman from the corner of his eye. She looked towards the man and grinned, he only sighed and turned his attention back towards the front. Alessandra chuckled lightly and maneuvered her gaze back to Eren, "What of it?"

"I was wondering, uhm, why?"

Alessandra's brow rose and she held back a laugh, the man to her right scoffed quietly. She looked at him and could barely see the twinkle of amusement in his eyes, with a grin she removed her hood and ruffled her hair in a weak attempt to fix it. Hair flooded in front of her left eye and brown strands stuck up from random places on her head while her braid looked disheveled. Levi sighed at this.

"To put it simply," she began, moving a few stands of hair away from her right eye, "I was a real asshole during my trainee days and -"

"Was?" Olou grumbled, still wiping blood from his jawline. The other three members of squad Levi laughed softly to themselves and Eren could feel his lip twitch slightly upwards.

Alessandra attempted to smile at him, but her face formed an awkward grimace as she hissed at him, "I hope next time you bite through your tongue so I never have to hear you talk again."

Olou turned around and huffed, hunching his shoulders over and he leaned forward on his horse.

"As I was saying before I was _rudely_ interrupted," Alessandra cleared her throat, shooting a glare at Olou's back, the squad chuckled again, "I picked a lot of fights during my trainee days. It wasn't until Levi was sent to teach me a lesson that I stopped fighting and lasted long enough to graduate. Two broken ribs, one broken arm, one arm pulled from its socket, and bruises all over my face - and this asshole walks away with nothing but a cut on his cheek and dirt on his boots."

"You're going to run laps for that foul mouth of yours, Alessandra," Levi spoke up, shooting a dull glare at the woman. Eren noticed how the rest of the Squad rolled their eyes, while Alessandra grinned as if she had just won a prize. The woman ran a hand through her hair as she slowed to keep pace with the Corporal.

"'Course, Levi."

Eren watched Alessandra for a moment, her hushed tones as she spoke to the Corporal. He never spoke back to her, but once in a while his eyes would flicker over to hers and he'd give a slight nod. She didn't seem to be talking about anything important, Eren guessed, since she was giving a soft smile the entire time she spoke.

It didn't take the Squad long to reach the castle after that, and quickly they were all sent to do their chores of cleaning. Alessandra had removed her brown Survey Corps jacket and had begun running laps, yelling at the others while she did so. Eren had found out from Gunther that she did this often, every time she would had to clean for more than an hour she would do something to piss off the Corporal and he would send her to run laps or do something else. No one knew why she didn't want to clean, Petra had stated, except for the Corporal. And although it was very obvious that he was annoyed by it, he didn't force her to clean. It had bothered them all at first, but after a talking to from Levi, they accepted it _and_ her. After cleaning the upstairs and reporting to Levi, Eren found himself staring out the window and watching as Alessandra ran by. A thin layer of sweat was coating her face, and her hair was actually pushed back for the first time. From the distance Eren could see two very light blue eyes a clutter of freckles on her cheeks. She was calling out to Erd and Gunther and they were cleaning outside, her cheeks flushed from the running and a wide grin on her face.

His thoughts were cut off when Petra entered the room.

"You look disappointed, Eren."

Eren jumped from his position at the window and turned to see the young woman. He stuttered over a response, shifting awkwardly.

"I'll be calling you 'Eren'," Petra smiled, she laughed softly as she spoke, "that's what Captain Levi calls you, and Alessandra too. Here, the two of them make the rules. The Captain's obviously over ruling most of Alessandra's."

Eren nodded, his eyes flicked from the floor to Petra. He shifted on his feet before speaking once more, "I don't mind... But, uh, do you think I could ask you something?"

Petra tilted her head, slightly leaning against the broom in her hands, "Sure, Eren."

Looking out the window and pointing a finger down he began, "I've never heard anything about an Alessandra Curtis before.. I mean, I've heard of everyone in the squad - other trainee's talked about all of you. I even know everyone's kill and assist ratio but - but I've never heard of _her_."

Petra smiled softly at the younger boy, "She'd tell you that was a good thing, she's not one for being in the spot light. It's not surprising you haven't heard of her. Alessandra has a nickname given to her by the people who _do_ know her, they've nicknamed her _The Shadow_. I brought it up to her once, and she hates the nickname - but I've heard Hanji call her by that once or twice. Alessandra's a great soldier, her kill and assist ratio is higher than Olou's. She should be a squad leader, really."

Eren's eyes widened, Hanji had said something along those lines when Alessandra escorted him into the court room not too long ago.

"I don't know why," Petra smiled, "But she follows Captain Levi and Commander Erwin closely, that's why they call her a shadow. Get it? She's always there, but not always seen. But she's just as important as the person she is following."

Eren's mouth parted slightly as Petra continued.

"You'll have to ask her for the real story since I've only heard rumors from the other squads members," She started, tilting her head slightly, "But like Captain Levi, I've heard she was from the Capital's Underground streets. She won't tell you her story though, not unless you beat her in a fight."

Eren shifted on his feet uncomfortably wondering why she would want a fight? He wondered if the woman was hiding something, or maybe she just wanted to make sure the person was strong enough. Eren gulped slightly as he asked the next question, worried about the answer, "And how many people have beat her?"

Petra laughed softly at this, "Two."

"Commander Erwin and Captain Levi?"

Petra shook her head, "It wasn't them."

* * *

Alessandra was bent forward with her hands on her knees, sweat was dripping onto the dirt beside her boots and her chest was heaving up and down quickly. It was dark outside now, and she had finally hit her limit with all the running. Her legs slightly shook and her stomach was empty and heavy, she used the back of her hand to wipe the corner of her mouth since she had emptied her stomach only moments ago. She softly groaned as she stood up, wiping the sweat from her brow and pushing her hair back and away from her face. She blinked a couple of times, staring at the castle not too far away from where she had vomited. She made sure to cover the vomit with dirt, or Levi would have her head about it.

"Alessandra~!"

Alessandra jumped and squeaked at the close proximity of the voice, her head turning so sharply to the left she nearly gave herself whip lash, "Hanji, you shit! Don't do that!"

Hanji gave Alessandra a sheepish grin, her glasses giving off a mischievous gleam because of the full moon, "But it's always funny to see you -"

Alessandra grabbed Hanji, pulling the taller woman down into a head lock as she stormed towards the castle. Hanji laughed and choked as Alessandra forcefully dragged the woman forward, Hanji kicking up dirt as she tried to keep up with Alessandra's short and quick strides. Using her foot, Alessandra roughly kicked at the wooden door, the door hitting the wall with a loud _bang_ as it opened. She tossed Hanji forward, glaring at the woman who quickly recomposed herself as if she wasn't just in a tight choke hold, "Found something wandering outside, I don't want to keep it."

"Oh, Alessandra!" Hanji waved the woman off before raising a hand to the people surrounding the table, "Good evening, Squad Levi! How do you like the castle?"

"That didn't take long," Levi sighed. He twitched when Alessandra jumped on the table, using the area beside him as a seat, "_Alessandra_."

"_Levi_."

The man glared at the woman who feigned innocence, he could only pinch the bridge of his nose as she smiled at him. He examined her appearance, her arms shook lightly as she leaned back on them, and specks of dirt settled themselves on her face - mixing in with her freckles. She rocked her feet back and forth, her shoes coated with dirt from all the running and her white pants sticking too her from all of her sweat. Her hair wasn't sticking up, the sweat making it fall flat against her head. The hair in front of her face was still there, her left eye only peeking out slightly as she looked around the room.

"Alessandra is only mad because I scared her," Hanji laughed as she began walking forward, waving her hand in a dismissive manner. Alessandra snarled at the woman, following her with her eyes.

"She _scared_ you?"

"Shut _up_, Petra," Alessandra muttered, jumping off of the table when she heard Eren ask about the Titan experiments. She jerked her thumb towards the dark hallway she knew the rooms were, "I'm going to go shower before Levi drags me outside to hose me off."

"You're sharing with me," Levi stated dully, standing up from his seat. Eren sent Levi a bewildered look, but no one else seemed bothered that the two would be sharing a room together. He watched Alessandra, her jacket slung over her shoulder lazily, as she retreated into the dark hallway with Levi at her side. Eren blinked in confusion, multiple thoughts swirling through his head.

"They're not together, if that's what you're thinking," Hanji had chuckled. Eren's head whipped around and he stuttered for a moment.

"I'd like to say they're two peas in a pod, but they're not quite that," Hanji grinned, using a finger to point in the direction the two had walked, "They're so alike, yet so different. Like salt and pepper, they compliment each other - but not all the time."

Eren stuttered once more, the question coming out of his mouth before he could stop it, "Did you fight her?"

Hanji's brows raised in question, "So you know about that?"

Eren nodded, swallowing spit to wet his dry mouth.

Hanji intertwined her fingers and let her chin rest on them, "I did."

"You beat her then?"

"I did."

"Then who's the second person? If it wasn't Commander Erwin or Captain Levi, who else knows her whole story?"

Hanji smiled at his curiosity, _he was going to love her experiment stories,_ "Mike Zacharias."

Eren's mouth parted into an 'o' and he nodded, staring at the dark hallway as Hanji began with her tales.

* * *

Alessandra stepped out of the shower and sighed, ruffling her hair with one hand and using the other to hold her towel up. She checked that the bathroom door was locked before she dropped the towel, staring at herself in the long mirror that was placed on the door. She could only stare for a minute before she was too disgusted. She quickly made her way back to the shower and turned the water on again and washed her body. Scrubbing her arms, torso and neck until she was red and raw. After exiting the shower a second time, she didn't bother to look in the foggy mirror. Instead, she dressed in a tank top and a pair of sweats. Alessandra brushed her hair, leaving it down and mostly untamed. She sighed, running a hand through her hair and pushing it all the way back and away from her face.

She slowly exited the restroom. Levi was already in his own bed, sitting upright as he filed through a couple of letters. His eyes snapped up towards her, taking in her appearance. Her arms and neck were red, her cheeks flushed and her eyes were avoiding his as she made her way to her own bed underneath the window. He noticed as she leaned forward, the jagged scar peeking out from right above her underarm. Levi's jaw tensed as he remembered just _how_ she received that scar, with the memories flooding back to him he forced himself to look away.

"Can we remove the mirror from the bathroom?"

Levi's eyes traveled back over to the woman as she spoke. She was hunched forward in a sitting position, her legs crossed. She was looking up and outside the window, the full moon casting a pale glow over her face, allowing Levi to look at her clearly. Her brows were knitted together and her jaw was tense, her eyes - both perfectly visible - looked even paler than they usually did.

"We'll take it down tomorrow."

"I don't want to do it," She answered quickly, and it was Levi's turn to furrow his brows. Alessandra looked away from the window and back at Levi, she looked worried and almost scared. It was always upsetting and uncomfortable for Levi to see her like this, "It's disgusting, I don't want to look at it again."

The Corporal sighed, setting the papers he was looking at down. He crossed his hands over his lap and glared at her, his voice stern, "Shut up, Curtis."

Alessandra plopped down on her pillows, covering her face with both of her hands. Her arms shook and her breathing seemed to hasten, Levi narrowed his eyes at her, "_Oi_, shit for brains, are you crying?"

Alessandra chuckled weakly, turning over and giving Levi her back. She lifted her hand and gave him the finger, her voice steady as she spoke, "I haven't cried in years, you know that, dumbass."

* * *

[**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own any recognizable characters, they belong to Isayama. The only characters I take claim to are Alessandra and Tevin.]

{**AUTHORS CORNER**: I didn't get any comments last chapter but I did get new follows and favorites so thank you so much for that!}

[**INTRO SONG CREDIT**: Remember Everything by Five Finger Death Punch]

[[**HEAD CANON 3**: Alessandra only picked fights with the trainee's who were dead set on going to the Military Police.]]


	5. Bloody Knuckles

**CHAPTER FOUR: BLOODY KNUCKLES**

* * *

_And then I found out how hard it is to really change._  
_Even hell can get comfy once you've settled in._  
_I just wanted the lonely inside me to leave._  
_No matter how fucked you get, there's always hell when you come back down._  
_The funny thing is all I ever wanted I already had._  
_There's glimpses of heaven in every day._

* * *

The young female was dressed in a squalid tank top that was much too big for her smaller frame and black pants that were a little too tight even in her skinny state. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, her bangs away from her face. The young male, who walked beside her, was in an equally squalid tank top, his fitting better than hers, and a pair of pants that were a little too loose and slightly too short. The two dragged their feet, their hands stuffed in their pockets and their eyes red, tired and hungry. They hadn't eaten in four days, the last time they tried to steal food the shop owner had caught them. Apparently, he was being extra vigilant since a couple of thieves had stolen from him the night before. Military Police had recently been patrolling even more due to the death of a wealthy merchant. The heat didn't help them either, the Underground was hot and simmering - hot air not being able to properly escape in the tunnels.

"Lessy?"

The woman's eyes flickered over to her friend and she barely mustered up a smile, her voice hoarse and weak as she spoke, "I'm okay Tevin... I'm... okay."

Alessandra stumbled slightly as she finished speaking, her stomach growling loudly and her mouth parched - longing for something other than dirty water. Tevin stumbled as well, tripping and finding his way towards a stone wall. He leaned against it, his vision blurring. Alessandra reached over to grab onto the dirty blond, his name slipping passed her dried lips, but she missed. Instead the petite brunette plunged face first into the hard stone floor, her arms too weak and tired to cushion the fall. She groaned, her arms shaking as she attempted to lift herself up. Her attempt failed and she fell once more, her body shaking and her stomach clenching with pain. She could feel her palm burning from the fresh scrapes, her cheek was probably already bruising. Tevin slumped against the wall, his head bowing down against his chest as he passed out. Alessandra let out a weak cry, her throat starting to burn from being dry and from holding back sobs. She could barely whisper Tevin's name without her voice cracking. She couldn't even lift her fingers anymore. It was getting hard for Alessandra to keep her eyes open, tears blurred her vision as she noticed a black hooded figure stalking towards her. She attempted to lift her head once more but failed, it seemed she would have to meet death with her eyes closed.

She felt someone cold fingers brush her cheek, and she assumed Death was just making sure she was ready to go. Alessandra's eyes fluttered shut and she released a long breath, her body slumping against the ground. Once Death got his confirmation she felt herself begin lifted, her tiny frame was now cradled against Death's chest.

* * *

Alessandra snapped up from her bed, sweated coated her forehead and her breathing was increasing by the second. Levi was sat on his bed, slipping on his boots, he stopped when the girl yelped from her bed and sprung up. Quickly sliding the boot on his foot, he stood and took long strides towards the woman who was now gripping onto her hair. Her shoulders were shaking and her eyes were wide as she stared at the clean white blanket on her lap.

"Alessandra."

She jumped, her head snapping over to Levi. Her eyes shook but Levi's couldn't see any detection of tears, though the pain that had flashed in them for the briefest of moments did make his heart stop for a moment. Levi furrowed his brows, setting a hand on top of the woman's shoulder, "What's wrong, Curtis."

Alessadra buried her face in her hands for a second before rubbing her eyes roughly. When she looked up at him again, the pain he had seen before was gone and replaced with a duller look, she set a hand on his and spoke softly, "Bad dream."

Levi didn't push the woman any further, her frequent nightmares were far from new to him at this point. It was the reason the two shared a room, he was use to her whimpers and grunts that echoed through the quiet room in the middle of the night. But when the night terrors were **_true_** terrors, she would wake up screaming. The squad knew, and they knew to not approach her about it. Olou had asked once, and was met with a fist to his nose before he could come remotely close to even finishing the question. Levi had given them a dull warning after that, explaining that her past was troublesome and it tended to haunt her - as bad memories tend to do so. Alessandra rarely ever spoke of what she dreamt of, usually getting through the day with a facade or being a complete bitch. But when she would talk about it with Levi, she would usually utter only single words and short phrases.

_"Underground."_

_"Tevin."_

_"Fighting."_

Or, his least favorite.

_"That day I met you and Erwin."_

"Hanji's test subjects were found dead," Levi began, slipping the green cloak over his shoulders, "We're going into town to go see what happened."

"I'm going to stay," Alessandra answered quietly, her eyes transfixed on anything but his own. She turned so she was sitting on the edge of the bed, her arms gripped the mattress firmly and her bare feet were barely able to touch the wood floor, "I'll be ready and good when you get back."

Levi stared at her for a moment before walking over and setting a firm hand on top of her head, her head bobbed from the contact but she still refused to make eye contact. He slowly titled her head back - forcing her to her face him, "Don't give me that look."

Alessandra averted her eyes to the corner of the room, but was again forced to look back at the man when he pinched her cheeks together with his hand, "You look like you took a really painful piss."

Swatting the mans hand away, he noticed the corner of her lip twitch up and she stood. She glanced up at him and patted his cheek lightly before she walked past him, towards the bathroom, "I'm going to go piss now, see you when you're back."

Rolling his eyes, Levi made his way out of the room. Alessandra laughed softly to herself as she brushed her hair, her eyes darted to where the mirror was and her face softened. The mirror was covered with a white sheet, scrawled in a familiar script on the white sheet were three words. Three words that made her heart swell as she thought of the man who had written them.

_When you're ready_.

Though, it would be hard, she knew he meant well.

Alessandra put on a pair of loose brown pants she used for exercising, and since no one would be around she decided to keep her loose tank top on. The brunette braided her hair and pinned her bangs back, away from her eyes. She jogged out the door and towards the kitchen, awkwardly tugging her boots on as she did so. She walked into the kitchen and prepared a hot cup of coffee for herself. Hopping onto the counter, she gazed out the window while waiting for her water to boil. She knew if Levi was here he'd drag her down by her hair, to which the rest of the squad would shake their head and laugh at the two. Really, the squad had become accustomed to Levi and Alessandra's relationship. She was a pain in his side that he strangely liked, a pain that gave him comfort. No one knew _how_ they became friends, or _when_ they even met. All that was know about their origin was that Alessandra met both Levi and Erwin at the same time, and that after that she was a fiercely loyal soldier.

Alessandra hummed quietly to herself as she poured milk and sugar into her coffee, making sure the usually bitter drink was now ridiculously sweet. She sipped her drink, making very unladylike slurping noises as she did so. Alessandra sat down on the table, peering at papers that Levi had no doubt left for her - reports for the expedition. Sipping the coffee again she began to flip through the papers, studying over what she and the squad were suppose to do. They would leave on the expedition in 5 days - 4 days now - and they were to be ready by early morning for a noon departure. Alessandra skimmed over until she found her name, with a clenched jaw and furrowed brow's she read that she would not be with Levi and Erwin. Not that she minded, but it was always a little frustrating to be left out of the loop. Though, she knew that Levi wasn't leaving her behind to leave her out of the loop. It was simply because she was second in command, and she had to take care of the squad.

_And_ Eren.

She sighed, letting the papers flop onto the table as she thought of babysitting.

Alessandra finished her cup of coffee and stood, not bothering to wash the cup. She exited the castle and squinted her eyes at the beaming sun above her, radiating down onto her semi-freckled shoulders and arms. She sighed happily, stretching her arms above her head as she stretched. Alessandra made her way over to one of the training posts, a simple wooden log with a worn out cushion surrounding it. She glanced at her unwrapped knuckles and shrugged, making the decision to not wrap her hands solely out of pure laziness. She hunched her shoulders and raised her hands in front of her chin. She drug her left foot back and her right foot planted itself forward, her body twisted at an angle. Her fighting stance was completely wrong according to multiple higher-ups. During her trainee days she refused to fight the way they attempted to teach, saying that her way was the way she was most comfortable. Even though it was wrong, it was how she was taught - and it was how she won. Grunting she shot her fist out towards the post, repeating this over and over. The more she hit the post the more the memories of her dreams flashed in front of her eyes and the more she thought about the mirror in the bathroom. Her cheeks flushed with anger and her punches were no longer just for training, she was punching to hurt.

_Disgusting. Monster. Ugly_.

The words repeated themselves in voices that were not her own. Swirling in her mind the way milk had swirled in her coffee not too long ago. She let out another grunt as she used her right knee to attack the log, her brown pants getting dirty from the dust that floated around the post. She continued, not noticing the small cuts on her hands and not feeling the bruises that were beginning to form on her knees and shins. She didn't even realize how long she had been hitting the post until someone had roughly grabbed her shoulder, pulling her back from the post - out of instinct she swung. Luckily for her, and Levi, he was quick enough to dodge the punch. A few droplets of blood had dripped onto his uniform from the swing, resulting in him shooting her a hard glare.

"What're you doing, Alessandra?"

Alessandra looked at him sheepishly, noticing the rest of the squad was not too far behind him, "Uh, nothing?"

Levi gave her a deadpanned look, reaching for her wrist and pulling her hand up to his face, "Are you _stupid_, Curtis?"

"I believe we've gone over this before, sir," Alessandra muttered, looking away and resisting the urge to pout. It was always off-putting to be scolded by him.

"Eren!"

Alessandra's brows rose as the boy came rushing over, looking slightly scared as the Corporal called his name, "Y-Yes?"

"Go get towels, gauze and alcohol,"Levi instructed, releasing Alessandra's hand, "Place them on the table and sit, you're going to learn how to deal with this dipshit since you'll be seeing her for most of this week."

Alessandra ignored the comment, her eyes lighting up hearing the word 'alcohol', "There's booze?"

Levi shot the woman a glare, grabbing onto her shoulder and pushing her forward, "Shut up, Alessandra."

She chuckled, walking towards the castle as she examined her bloodied and beaten hands. They were covered in dirt and dried blood, a lot of the skin on her knuckles peeling off, "I didn't even notice how long I was out here, you know?"

"You should be more careful," Petra's voice met her ears, Alessandra looked up to see Petra to her left, "How do you expect to use your blades well enough when your knuckles are all bruised?"

Alessandra pouted at Petra, "Thanks, Petra."

Petra laughed softly and rushed into the castle, probably ready for a shower.

"She's right," Erd stated, setting a hand on Alessandra's shoulder as they entered the castle, "Give it a rest, it's not like you can't beat everyone here already."

"Except Captain Levi, of course."

Erd and Alessandra turned to meet Olou's gaze, Alessandra giving him a deadpanned look, "I've beaten him before, though - it's usually rare. But, I can kick your ass for sure, Olou."

Olou scoffed, crossing his arms as he took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Alessandra, you pig," Levi's voice spoke up and Alessandra jumped slightly, "Leaving your dirty cups on the table."

"It was one cup," Alessandra rolled her eyes, grabbing the cup and then shoving it into Eren's hands, "Besides, Eren will clean it for me. Won't you, Eren?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

Levi narrowed his eyes at the woman and pushed her shoulder down, forcing her to sit in the chair. Gunther and Erd took a seat at the table, both with either tea or coffee in their hands. Olou sat, examining his finger nails and Eren had quickly washed and dried Alessandra's used cup. Alessandra placed her hands on the table with her knuckles up, her shoulders slouched lazily. Levi sat beside her, picking her hands up gently and using the towels and alcohol to wipe them clean. She snatched the alcohol from Levi once he was done with it, taking a large swing from the bottle. It was snatched from her quickly, her gaze snapping up to glare at Petra who rolled her eyes in return.

"I think we've all seen you drunk one too many times," Petra scolded.

Alessandra's lower lip jutted out lightly as she huffed, looking back to Levi. He had finished cleaning the blood off of her hands and was now wrapping them with the gauze, Eren was sat across from him - watching his every move as if he would be tested on it later. Alessandra could only stare at Levi as he was being gentle with her hands, a small smile threatening to make its way onto her face as his eyes flickered up to hers for the briefest of moments.

"Don't do anything stupid before the expedition," Levi stated, setting her wrapped hands down on the table and looking at the woman with a glare, "I'll have you stay here if I feel you're unfit enough to properly use your 3DMG."

Alessandra slumped in her chair but ignored his statement otherwise, "So, how was Hanji?"

"How do you expect?" Levi asked, standing up and walking towards the kitchen, "She was simply herself."

Alessnadra looked towards Eren, "So, she was screaming and crying?"

Eren blinked, slightly surprised that Alessandra had spoken to him, "She was really upset over Sonny and Bean."

"She named them Sonny and Bean," Alessandra deadpanned, her brows raising in amusement as she snorted, "What a fucking dimwit."

"Uhm, Miss Ale -"

"Stop calling me Miss," Alessandra waved her hands, a grimace making its way onto her face, "It makes me sound like an old hag."

Eren smiled lightly, "Alessandra, is it okay if I ask you something?"

Alessandra raised a brow, tilting her head slightly to the right, "Hmm?"

"Why did you join the Survey Corps?" Eren asked, leaning forward in his seat, placing his intertwined hands on the table in front of him.

Alessandra tapped her chin thoughtfully, looking at Levi as he sat down beside her - black tea in his hands, "I followed Levi and Erwin, to be honest."

"Dumbass."

Alessadnra grinned over at Levi, and Eren couldn't help but smile at this. Hanji had made a point to say they were like salt and pepper, and with the little interactions between the two - Eren could see it. Levi had an almost graceful air around him, while Alessandra's clumsy nature contrasted. Levi had the vocabulary and manners of a thug, while Alessandra's actions were a little more goofy. But when Eren had seen her serious side for a few minutes before his trail, he could see the intent to kill on her features. Plus, Petra had stated her kill count was higher than Olou's. Alessandra and Levi were obviously close if she followed him into the military, and she was his second in command - so they had to be close.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"You're getting ahead of yourself," Alessandra spoke, leaning forward in her seat and placing her cheek in the palm of her hand. Her eyes glimmered with a slight mischief, "I'll tell you anything you want to know if you agree to -"

"Fight you."

"_Hoh_?" Alessandra mused at Eren's interruption, her brows raising as she glanced around the people at the table, "Seems you've already been pretty nosy, Jaeger."

Eren flushed, "It's just that I - I've never heard _your_ name float around before. During trainee days people knew of Captain Levi, Squad Leader Hanji, even Olou and the rest of the squad. But I've never heard the name Alessandra Curtis float around."

Alessandra looked at Levi from the corner of her eyes before back to Eren, "That's good, that's how I prefer it."

"_Why?_"

"I don't need a title to validate my skill," Alessandra narrowed her eyes, she leaned forward in her seat, "I don't need to be gawked at and identified as one of the strongest out there. I just need to do my job, and that's killing titans and protecting these people and everyone else who wears wings on their backs. I don't need people to know my name, that's not what I'm here for. For fucks sake, I'm not even here to kill titans."

Alessandra spoke quickly, using her finger to motion to the people all around her, "You see, these people, they're all I give a shit about. I could care less about the prissy little unicorns or even the people inside of Sina. I wouldn't bat an eyelash if the King himself was killed. My job is to protect these people, to kill the titans outside these walls and to -"

"But aren't you afraid of the titans!?" Eren yelped, slamming his hands onto the table, "How can you sit here and say all this with such ease when the Titans are the ones who ruined everything!"

"The titans don't scare me, Jaeger," Alessandra snarled, clenching her first - causing Levi to narrow his eyes, "I have seen _people_ do _far_ worse things than the titans, and in my eyes, the Titans are just another training exercise."

Eren stared at the woman opened mouth before he abruptly stood, his chair squeaking as it slid back, "Fight me!"

Everyone at the table said Eren's name at this, most shocked that he even took the challenge. Alessandra's brow's raised in amusement at the sudden offer to fight, Eren's anger seemed to have gotten the best of him.

"She will do no such thing," Levi stated, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Eren, "I just wrapped her filthy hands."

Alessandra stood, pushing her hair out of her eyes and looking down at Levi, she set a hand on his shoulder and squeaked it lightly as she spoke, "I won't even use my hands. I can beat him, _no matter what condition I'm in_. I'll **still** win."

Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "You're a pain in my ass, Curtis."

"Jaeger, outside," Alessandra used her index finger to call him, walking out of the door without a second thought. The rest of the squad stood, following the titan shifter out the door. Alessandra made a circle in the dirt using the heel of her boot, "Rules are simple, Jaeger. First one to step out of the line loses. Best 2 out of 3. Don't be afraid to hit me, Jaeger, because I'm not afraid to hit you. Understand?"

"Yes," Eren nodded, getting into a fighting stance. Alessandra called Petra over, asking the female to be the ref. The brunette then hunched over into her own weird fighting stance. The second Petra had given them the signal to fight Alessandra lunged at Eren, forcing her knee up and under his ribs. His eyes widened and he choked loudly, falling back into the dirt outside of the circle. Eren continued to choke, trying to catch the breath that was knocked out of him. His eyes flickered over to the hand that was offered to him by Alessandra, her eyes looking bright in fading light of the day.

"You're too slow," Alessandra scoffed under her breath, pushing the hair out of her face again and turning her head to to the left as she examined Eren with her corner of her right eye, "I know you're faster than that, come at me."

Eren nodded, putting his hands up again. This time, when Petra had given them the signal Eren jumped forward. Alessandra spun to avoid the punch the boy had aimed towards her jaw. She swung her elbow towards his eye only to have him block it with his forearm. He reached for her wrist, but she spun out of his grasp once more. Eren took the opportunity to swing his leg, landing a rough kick on her left side. Alessandra fell, her palm landing outside of the vanishing circle.

"_Oi_."

"It's okay," Alessandra spoke up before Levi could say anything else, she stood up and smirked at, slapping her palms together in attempt to get the dirt off of them, "That's playing dirty, Eren."

Eren looked at her confused but didn't have time to ask before she had swung at him again. He yelped slightly and dodged the punch, grabbing onto her wrist and tugging her towards him. Alessandra grunted and grabbed a firstful of Eren's hair and yanked his head back forcefully, the boy let out a yelp and released her wrist. Alessandra took this moment to push Eren into the dirt, making sure his face was outside of the line. She kept his face pressed into the ground as she looked up at Levi with a smug grin, "See? It's okay, Levi, I still won."

Eren groaned as he felt Alessandra's fingers leave his hair.

"Yes but now someone has to redress your knuckles, shit for brains," Levi scolded. Alessandra shrugged and clapped her hands together, leaving Eren to groan on the floor, "I should probably shower first, so you can wrap my knuckles after."

"What makes you think I'll wrap them?" Levi asked, walking into the castle with Alessandra at his heels. She grinned in his direction, grasping his upper arm as he lead the way towards their room.

"Because somewhere in that dark soul of yours you actually like me."

Eren stopped listening after that, with another groan he sat up and rubbed the back of his head, "I almost had her."

"Almost," Petra stated, looking at Olou - who was rolling his eyes, "But you stuck to her right side, so you gave her the advantage."

Eren looked up at the rest of the squad in confusion, "What?"

Olou deadpanned, "Are you stupid?"

"N-No! I just," Eren stuttered, "I just don't know what you mean!"

Gunther laughed, "You really couldn't tell? I mean, all of us could tell after out first spar with her."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Eren frowned.

Petra smiled softly and offered her hand to the boy, speaking as she yanked him up, "Alessandra's left eye is completely blind."

* * *

{**AUTHORS CORNER**: _EDITED_. Sorry if I missed anything! I tried to fix all the errors I saw! So please tell me if I missed anything else! So, we get our first itsy bitsy glance at Alessandra's past! I know I'm actually really excited to get into her past but I'm not gunna rush it. Thank you all for the comments and the favorites/follows! They really inspire me to get chapters out so much more quickly!}

[**INTRO SONG CREDIT**: Hospital for Souls by Bring Me The Horizon]

[[**HEAD CANON 4**: Alessandra has only cried in front of Levi _once_.]]


	6. Trust Me

**CHAPTER FIVE: TRUST ME**

* * *

_Echoes start as a cross in you,_  
_Trembling noises that come to soon._  
_Spatial movement which seems to you,_  
_Resonating your mask or feud._  
_Hollow talking and hollow girl,_  
_Force it up from the root of pain._

* * *

Alessandra groaned as she woke up, shoving the hand that was tapping her cheek away from her lazily. She heard a sigh and the tapping stopped, causing a lazy smile to sprawl across her lips. She sighed happily, turning over once more and snuggling into her pillow. She didn't get the satisfaction of enjoying that for too long, though, since her blankets were yanked off of her - her own body following the clean sheets resulting in her crashing down on the ground. She cursed loudly, fumbling awkwardly and angrily as she attempted to detangle herself from the blankets. Once accomplished, she glared at the man standing above her with a single brow raised.

"I tried to wake you up nicely," he stated, offering her his hand. She huffed indignantly, slapping his hand away from her and clumsily standing up on her own. Levi only looked at her, an amused expression etching it way onto his face for a brief moment, "Hurry up and get ready."

"Do I have to wear my uniform?" She grumbled, scratching the back of her head lazily as she tried not to yawn mid sentence. She made her way into the bathroom to brush her teeth, Levi following her.

"You're going to be with Eren," Levi answered, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. He eyed the woman up and down as she lazily stuffed the tooth brush in her mouth, staring at him with a look that expressed nothing but boredom, "I expect your full 3DMG gear and the knife. You already missed the meeting with had this morning."

Alessandra blinked over at Levi, her toothbrush still shoved in her mouth as she spoke, "I mished a meetin'?"

"About what we spoke of last night," Levi uncrossed his arms, making a face at her as she spat into the sink, "If Eren were to ever bout against us."

Alessandra spat out the toothpaste once more and rinsed her mouth, nodding as she did so. Once done, she wiped her mouth with her wrist, earning a grimace from Levi, "What's going on now, then?"

"We're going to run experiments with four eyes," Levi stated with a sigh, "Eren is eating at the moment, so hurry up."

Alessandra hummed, "Give me ten minutes and I'll be ready."

Levi grunted in response, making his way out of the room. Alessandra called out to him before he could fully close the door, the man blinked at her, waiting for her to continue, "Could you make me some coffee?"

* * *

Alessandra walked out of the castle ready for the day, her 3DMG gear slapping against her outer thighs as she walked. She wore a green v-neck, with her brown jacket under her arm and her necklace tucked underneath her shirt. Her hair was in a messy bun instead of it's usual braid, and her bangs lay messily in front of her left eye. She threw the jacket lazily on the grass and made her way towards Petra - who was holding Vin's reins. Alessandra greeted the horse before acknowledging the other woman, causing Petra to roll her eyes as Alessandra kissed the horse's nose in greeting. The brunette rubbed her eyes tiredly as she looked at Petra.

"Morning," Petra smiled at the woman. Alessandra yawned, muttering a good morning back at the soldier and then muttering something about "stupid Levi" and "stupid coffee". Petra wasn't fully paying attention, she was accustomed the woman being grumpy in the mornings.

"Captain is over there," Alessandra followed Petra's finger, seeing that Hanji and Levi were already on horseback and a good distance away from the hole that was near the castle. Quietly thanking Petra, Alessandra quickly getting on top of Vin, riding away on the tan stallion. Once within hearing distance she called out to the two, "What's going on? I expected so much more action by now - y'know, like Eren going all Titan or something."

"You're late," Levi snapped at the woman, shooting her an annoyed glare as her horse trotted to the right of his. She turned her head and shrugged, again muttering something about coffee and waking up uncomfortably. Levi rolled his eyes and kicked the sides of his horse goading it to move forward, Hanji and Alessandra quickly following behind.

"Nothing happened?" Alessandra asked once more, turning her head to face Hanji. Said person frowned, shaking her head and rubbing her chin thoughtfully as she quietly mused to herself. Alessandra's brows knitted together and she jumped off Vin, making her way towards Levi.

"Oi! Eren!" Levi called, his voice echoing down the deep hole, "We're canceling the test."

Alessandra pulled a face as she leaned closer to the edge of the hole Eren was in, her voice coming out a quiet whine, "But I just got here.."

"Is something wrong?" Hanji asked, leaning over the side of the hole. Alessandra stepped to the left of Levi, grasping the bricks and leaning forward. Her eyes widened seeing Eren's mouth and hands fully covered in blood, his eyes were wide and his whole body shook. Alessandra's jaw clenched at how hopeless he looked and without thinking she jumped down the large hole, both Levi and Hanji calling after her. Well, Levi mostly cursing her while Hanji goaded her to see what was wrong with the Titan Shifter. Using the 3DMG in the tiny space was not ideal, but she made it work the best she could. Eren looked at her as she stepped beside him, his jaw slack and his eyes looking as if he were on the verge of tears. Alessandra frowned, her mind still wrapped around the fact that Eren was still _just_ a boy. She wouldn't let it show, but she was starting to feel bad for the kid. She pulled a disgusted face as she wiped the blood from his hands with a handkerchief she kept in her pocket, listening to him speak.

"Alessandra," he muttered, his eyes flickering to his bloodied hands, "I-I couldn't do it."

Alessandra sighed, wrapping her arm around Eren's waist and bringing the boy up herself. He kept muttering under his breath but Alessandra paid him no mind, only grunting at the fact that her clean clothes were now stained with crimson - no doubt Levi would chew her out about it. Why she felt compelled to help him was beyond her, she had guessed that it was because she wanted to put her faith in the boy like Erwin was. But she was no gambler. She liked to know facts and this boy was not something she could completely count on. Sure, he was willing to turn into a titan to experiment. But could he on demand? Obviously not. Or was it an act? From the looks of it, no. But she's met some good actors in her lifetime, and she knew not to judge immediately. Once she let Eren go she was grabbed harshly by the collar of her shirt. Her pale blue's meeting the fierce gray eyes of her Captain.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Kid probably couldn't use his gear without fucking it up," Alessandra snapped, pulling away harshly - causing her to stumble slightly, "I helped him."

"He could have killed you should he have turned into a titan at that moment," Levi scowled, his eyes flickering up and down as he looked at her dirty uniform.

"But he didn't, so don't fucking yell at me," Alessandra glared, shrugging her shoulders as she turned away from him.

Levi's glare seemed to soften only in the slightest was he walked past Alessandra, muttering under his breath so only she could hear, "You worry me, brat."

Alessandra rubbed her temples and groaned loudly, stomping childishly after the man who made her worry just as much.

* * *

Alessandra sat across from Eren, Levi hovering somewhere behind her. Hanji had wrapped Eren's hands not long ago, and although everyone had expected them to heal - just as his tooth did - they did not. Levi had been rewrapping her injured hands when he told her, the woman pulling a confused face at the news. She questioned the boy about it, her doubt in him growing by the second. But his face was just as confused as hers, and she hadn't seen even a glimmer of a lie as he spoke.

"If you can't turn into a titan," Levi began, "Your great deed of sealing Wall Maria will mean jack shit. I'm giving you an order. Do something about it."

Levi turned his back just as Eren quietly answered with a 'yes sir'. Alessandra leaned forward, her expression stoic as she spoke. Why she decided to give the boy advice could only be explained because of one thing she could not stop reminding herself about, he was a 15 year old boy with a huge weight on his shoulders. Erwin had placed a bet on this boy and the rest of the Legion was forced to place their bets as well, "You probably shouldn't panic, don't put stress on yourself. You're about as tense as this fucking table."

"Don't get yourself down, Eren," Erd spoke up from her right, his hands clasped around his tea.

"But -"

"It means your more human than we thought," the blond continued, interrupting Eren's sentence, "It's a hell of a lot better than rushing to your death. This happened for a reason."

Alessandra snorted, sipping her coffee. She sighed happily and ran a hand through her long bangs, pushing them away from her face.

"Yeah," Gunter spoke up, his eyes not moving away from his tea, "There's no such thing as being too careful."

"There is, however," Alessandra spoke up, wagging a finger at Eren as she mockingly scolded him, "such thing as being too tense. You should really calm down, relax. It won't help anyone else relax if you're so on edge."

Eren sat for a moment and Alessandra watched as he picked up his spoon, dropping it quickly from the pain in his hands. She stood, ready to offer him help but he told her he was fine and that he would get it. Alessandra shrugged, finishing the last of her coffee before standing, she didn't get to stand for long because a gust of wind and steam shot out from the direction where Eren was previously sat. Her heart rate speed up and she cursed loudly as she tried to stand against the whirlwind of steam. Her hands immediately went for her blades and her eyes darted around, looking for the Corporal. She quickly dashed over to him once she could see his silhouette, holding her blades in front of her as she waited for the steam to clear. Her hands were tight around the handles and her body hunched and ready to fly forward. Her knuckles began to throb with pain as she gripped the handles of the twin blades tightly, her eyes dashing all around as she took in the sight in front of her.

Levi spoke up from behind her, slowly walking in front of her, facing her and the rest of the squad, "Calm down."

The steam had cleared and she watched Eren turn, his hand completely engulfed in a larger body of mass made up of solely human muscle, bone and tissue, "Captain Levi, I'm -"

Alessandra's jaw tensed as she glanced from Levi to Eren, her eyes hardening into a glare. Her body was still rigid and ready to kill, she made no motion to back down or even relax from her stance. Levi looked at her as he spoke again, his hand slightly raising, "I said to calm down. All of you."

"What the fuck was that, Eren?" Alessandra asked, raising the blades, her eyes still darting between Levi and Eren. Her voice was much more serious than Eren had expected, it was dark and came out of lips in the form of a snarl, "Levi, move _out_ of my way."

"I - I don't - "

"Why did you do that without permission?" Erd yelled at Eren, hunching his shoulders forward as he spoke, "Answer me!"

"Alessandra, Erd," Levi called towards the two, keeping his voice calm and even.

"Answer, Eren! What's the big idea?!" Olou called out, beads of sweat began to form on the mans brow and drop down his face.

"Levi, move the _hell_ out of my way," Alessandra snarled at the man who still stood in front of her, the rest of the squad has spread out around Eren but Levi remained in front of the brunette. Her eyes were set in a firm glare, her whole posture was in a position that would be easy for her to leap forward and kill Eren, "How am I suppose to trust that he's not hostile to us anymore?!"

The rest of the squad began calling demands at Eren, but Levi's eyes were focused on the brunette in front of him. She gulped, feeling a beat of sweat trickle down her neck as she stared at him. She saw, that he was putting his trust into Eren and by standing in front of her he was simply asking that she do the same. But it was hard, how could she trust something that she was sworn to kill? Sworn to slaughter in order to protect those she cared about. She couldn't, she needed to protect him and if this boy was a threat then she would eliminate him - even if she did piss off Erwin, Hanji and Levi by doing so. If it meant saving lives, then she wouldn't give a shit.

"Levi, _move_."

"Alessandra," Levi snapped, "I _said_ to calm down!"

"Captain!" Petra spoke up, "You're too close, you need to move away!"

"No," Levi answered, "You guys are the ones who need to back off. Stand down."

"_Levi_," Alessandra practically pleaded now, her voice losing it's harsh snarls and instead sounding weak and on the verge of begging.

"Trust me."

It was all Alessandra needed to hear, her shoulders slumped and she took a step back. Levi could still see the anger rush to her face and it was obvious that she was very much hurt that he had used that phrase against her.

_Trust me_.

As if she needed to be reminded? As if that phrase itself wasn't burned into the back of her memories like the scars that are carved into her skin.

_Trust me_.

Two words that meant so little and so much, two words that could cause her to be both angry and content... Two words that broke her heart because he knew she couldn't even trust herself. It was unfair to use that phrase, to trust. Because she trusted him, with every inch of her. He was one of the few people she trusted, but he was the one she trusted _most_. He was the one who _knew_ most.

During her little inner conflict Hanji had taken it upon herself to drool over Eren's arm, nearly burning her palms during the burst of excitement. She blinked when Eren landed a couple of feet away from her, finally pulling himself out of the titan. Levi narrowed his eyes, afraid she would take matters into her own hands now that the he was no longer standing guard. The woman only took a step forward, offering her hand to the boy. Her jaw was tense as she did so, but she made no other movement to her blades or even to speak.

"How do you feel?" Levi asked, as Eren stared wide eyed at the woman's hand, still panting heavily.

"Not too good."

* * *

Alessandra sat at the corner of the wooden table, making sure she sat excluded from everyone else. Hanji was leaning on the opposite side while the rest of the squad seemed to scatter around in the rest of the seats. Erd and Gunter stood close by Hanji, Olou sat close to them, and Petra sat across from him. Only Alessandra had taken in upon herself to distance herself for the night, still bothered by the words her companion had stated hours ago. Her eyes snapped up seeing both Eren and Levi walk into the room. Her eyes met Levi's and she quickly looked away - glaring at her wrapped hands. Alessandra barely listened as Hanji spoke, already listening to more than an ear full as she had left with Hanji earlier in the day in a desperate attempt to avoid Levi.

She was furious with him, really. For using the line he did.

_Trust me._

She hated it. She hated when that was said and he _knew_ it. And then she was furious with herself for not listening to he man sooner. Thinking about it now, she felt horrible for pulling her sword on Eren - but in the panic of the moment it was the only thing she saw fit. _Levi_ was there, Levi wasn't even defending himself. But the more she thought about the guilty and scared look on he boys face as she yelled at him, the worse she had felt. She had began to think of the boy she had seen that morning, covered in his own blood and panicking because he couldn't turn into a titan. Then, partially turning into a titan when he didn't want to.

Alessandra looked at her hand, just as the rest of the squad did. She made eye contact with each of them before looking to Eren, she gave him a soft smile as she lifted her hand to her mouth. They had all agreed to this right when Hanji and herself had come back from their little departure. Each of them felt as guilty as the next one, and this was what they had decided to do. After all, a _child_ was doing it - and they were _adults_. Watching Eren bite into his hand looked almost as easy as biting into a loaf of bread, but as her teeth crushed down on her skin she couldn't imagine having to this over and over again.

"Wait - what are you all doing!?" Eren asked, his voice rising as he looked around the room, frantically looking at each of the members of the Special Ops Squad.

Pulling her hand away from her mouth she grimaced, there would be a bruise there for sure but she hadn't even bitten down hard enough to even draw a _speck_ of blood. She was tempted to bite into her hand again to prove a point, but the area where she had bitten was already pulsating with pain. She looked at Eren, raising her reddening hand, "How the fuck do you do it?"

"We misjudged you.." Gunter spoke up, setting his hand down with a slight frown, "This is our small way of apologizing. For what it's worth."

Alessandra spoke up again, this time more seriously, her brows knitted themselves together and her lips tugged down into a frown, "My job is to make sure you don't kill the people I refer to as my comrades. My job is to restrain you if you get out of hand, and kill you if I deemed it fit. There is nothing wrong with what we did... but it does not make me, or any of the others, feel any less guilty about pointing our blades at your throat. My comrade."

"We're sorry, Eren," Petra spoke softly, "We were frightened. We were jerks... You must be disappointed... Still, despite all that. We'll be depending on you, and we want you to count on us too."

"All we ask,"" Alessandra spoke as she stood, turning her back to exit the room. Her hands tightened into fists, "Is that you put trust into our abilities as soldiers. If I am willing to share the weight, please help us carry it. Believe that we are strong enough."

* * *

"Stop glaring at me."

Alessandra turned her head lazily over to the door of the room to see Levi, his face was set in an annoyed scowl as he took in her appearance. Her hair was wet and hanging limply around her shoulders, she wore a long sleeved shirt that was much too big for her small frame, her bottom half concealed under the white sheets. She had multiple papers in her hands, most likely concerning the expedition that was to start tomorrow.

"Have a nice trip with Hanji?" He asked, removing the straps of his 3DMG.

Alessandra looked back at the papers, licking the tip of her index finger and flipping to a different page, "Mhm."

Levi glared at her again, not enjoying the lack of response he was getting from her. He was never good when it came to apologizing, and by never good it meant that he didn't do it. Alessandra knew that, and she didn't expect him to apologize. She'd be good and ready by the expedition tomorrow, she just didn't feel like dealing with him at this moment.

"Curtis."

Alessandra turned her head to look at Levi, all the straps of his 3DMG were gone, and he had changed his pants but remained shirtless. It was nothing new for her, but she still couldn't help herself as she looked over his torso, "What?"

"I need you to promise me something," Levi stated, slipping a shirt on.

Alessandra clenched her jaw, a slight frown tugging at her lips, "And that would be?"

"Don't do anything stupid tomorrow."

And just like that, without even an apology - he was forgiven.

* * *

{**AUTHORS CORNER**: Do you know what's comin' up? The expedition! I'm actually really looking forward to posting the expedition. Thank you all for the reviews, favorites and followers! Honestly, they keep me motivated to keep this story alive. But I do have a question, are any of my readers Bleach fans? I've been writing a _Bleach_ _fanfic_ that takes place during the Final Arc, where the manga is currently at. It's an OC story, and I'm not 100% sure if I want it to be a Shinji / Kensei / Hisagi / Renji fic yet. Most likely, if i do post it because I've already written a majority it, it'll be Shinji/OC. If anyone is interested, though, let me know!}

[**INTRO SONG CREDIT**: Hollow Talk by Choir of Young Believers]

[**P.S** - someone asked me if there was going to be smut and as much as I would love to write smut in the future I _cannot_ write smut to save my life. If someone was willing to write the chapter for me I'd be happy to post it and credit you and maybe find a place for you in the story, but as of right now I don't think there will be any smut. Sorry!]

[**P.P.S** - If there is any mistakes let me know! I read over this 3 times but sometimes I make mistakes and miss things, so let me know!]


	7. Outside The Cage P1

**CHAPTER FIVE: OUTSIDE THE CAGE [PART 1]  
**

* * *

_I've stood in the dark  
Been waiting all this time  
While we damn the dead I'm trying to survive  
I'm not ready to die_

* * *

[**SONG CREDIT**: Not Ready To Die by Avenged Sevenfold]

* * *

Hooves pounding against the floor, harbored breathing, hushed whispers, the flapping of the green Survey Corps cloak - this is all Alessandra could hear as she galloped behind her squad. Eren was at her side, his eyes wide as he looked around - amazed at the amount of horses galloping along. It wasn't as much as Alessandra had seen over the years, but this year Erwin had managed to rope in quite a few new recruits. And from what she heard from Levi, a lot of them were Eren's friends and fellow trainee's.

She hadn't spoken much this morning considering her lack of sleep. She woke up in the early hours of the morning, before she was supposed to even be awake to prepare for the expedition. She didn't have a nightmare exactly, it was more of a dream that she wished _were_ real. She woke up and wanted to cry, frustrated beyond belief that the dream _wasn't_ real. She couldn't sleep after that, and by the time Levi woke up he wasn't very happy to see her dressed and ready to go. He would usually have to force her to wake up on the days they went outside the walls, so for her to be awake meant one of two things. She never slept, or never went back to sleep.

Neither sat well with him.

She had worn a white shirt this time, the neck had 3 buttons that she left carelessly open, the silver chain shining on her collar bones. Her hands were no longer wrapped in the white bandages, instead she wore brown finger-less gloves that she had bought years ago. The brown leather matched her survey corps jacket perfectly, pleasing the short man who she called her Captain. They also helped hide the fact that her knuckles were still covered in yellowish bruises and small cuts.

Alessandra flinched when she heard yelling from Hanji, the woman's screechy voice called out excitedly as a Titan appeared behind a few buildings the group was riding past. The support team was quick to handle it and Alessandra shot them a mock salute, familiar with a few of them. After all, she originally started off with the support group before Levi pulled her into his Squad. Eren flinched from beside her when the support team began to somewhat struggle, he glanced at her - hoping for words of encouragement - but Alessandra said nothing. The brunette ignored Eren and Olou as the two began to speak, she was trying to focus and not think about the dream that continued to bother her. If she let it distract her during important fights, then she would surely die.

And she wasn't ready to die just yet.

It didn't take them long to reach the gate, the familiar wide green terrain catching Alessandra's attention. She had asked Levi once, if he longed to know what was out there like so many others did. He never answered her question directly, only replying to her question with a simple 'do you?'. And, honestly, she _did_ wonder what was out there. She knew the walls, what was inside of them - and she hated it. Being outside the walls, even if she was fighting for her life each time, was better than the inside of the walls to her. The lush green fields, the tall full trees and the smell of morning dew was better than the dark and damp underground, or even the loud and rowdy city center - where the merchants were. She wanted to know what was outside the walls, she wanted to know if there was a possibility of a life better than the one she had lived. If not for her, then for others.

Alessandra's ears picked up on Erwin's yell, Squad leaders arms dashing out as they signaled the start of the expedition. The squad barely moved, they were in the rear center, and Alessandra knew why. Of course, she was informed on what was going on and what the _real_ point of the expedition was. But the others were not, and Alessandra wasn't entirely sure for Levi's motives but he had wanted her to keep quiet about it. Though, she knew that Levi had as much faith in the squad as she did. Why else would he pick them?

The brunette's brow furrowed, and her hand instinctively went up to finger the chain around her neck seeing the red smoke fly into a straight line a little ways away. She noticed Eren tense from in front of her and she decided to speak up, a few others raising their brows at her as she did.

"Calm down, Eren."

Her voice was quiet and tight. Eren looked over his shoulder to look at her, his lips pressed together in a thin line. Her jaw was clenched together, her brows slightly knitted together. When he looked at her eyes he couldn't help but mentally smack himself for not noticing the slight deformation of her left pupil, and the splotches of white in the iris.

"How can you be so calm?" Eren asked, his tone soft, "When your friends can be dying?"

"Because," Alessandra answered quickly, not allowing anyone else to interrupt her or even begin to scold Eren on his question, "If I panic, I'm dead. If they panic, they're dead. It's true, to fight titans you have to be smart and quick. But not only that, you have to stay calm as you possibly can. The moment you panic you lose all sense of thought, you're movements become jumbled and you fuck up. How do you think I hurt my eye?"

Eren's eyes widened for a moment, up until he saw Alessandra's composure break for a second and she began to snicker. A coy smirk made it's way onto her face, her tone almost childish, "_Just kidding_."

"Shut up, Curtis," Levi snapped from ahead of her. Alessandra scratched area right beside her lip, her smirk slowly fading as she cleared her throat, allowing the calmness to consume her once more.

* * *

"Green," Alessandra commented from her place in the back, she raised her voice so Levi could hear her. Pulling the smoke gun from her hip, she inserted the green round and raised the gun. She watched as the green smoke spiraled above her, following in the direction that the other green rounds had shot. Green filled the blue sky, and for a moment Alessandra had the naive thought that everything was going according to plan.

"Reporting!"

Alessandra turned her head, her jaw clenching as she noticed another Survey Corps member approaching. His face was contorted into a look of worry, and sweat had accumulated on his brows, but his voice never wavered.

"Message to pass along!" He called over the loud trampling of the horses, "Right flank recon has been destroyed! Our recon system is partially inoperative. Pass this on, to the left."

Alessandra swallowed spit, her brow furrowing in annoyance at the news. She noticed Petra move from her position in the formation and Alessandra kicked at her horses sides, egging it to go faster. She took Petra's previous spot, to the left of Eren and right behind Levi. Her voice was firm and laced with her annoyance, "I _just_ sent off green rounds, what the f -"

The woman was cut off she the sounds of multiple smoke rounds met her ears. She clicked her tongue, but attempted to calm herself down by steadying her increasing breathing. Levi told Eren to fire the round and soon after she heard him mumble "what a mess" to himself. She closed her eyes for a moment, her gloved hands tightening on the reins of her horse as she counted.

"If it goes bad," She spoke up, her voice calmer than before. Her brows were knitted together and a light sweat was beginning to make it's way onto her forehead. She opened her eyes as she finished her sentence, her gaze sturdy, "I'll leave the formation and stall."

"You will do no such thing," Levi replied, looking over his shoulder for a second, just to narrow his eyes at the woman, "You stay in formation, Alessandra."

Alessandra's eyes formed a glare, and Eren gulped. It was the first time he had seem them at odds, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know how bad they could get. Especially not in the current situation they were in.

"You can't stop me, _Captain_."

Levi clicked his tongue in annoyance but made no more attempt to argue with the stubborn woman. She was a dedicated one, sometimes a little too dedicated for his liking. She was always more than willing to die, even if she continued to say it wasn't her time to go. At one point Levi had raised his voice at her, during one of her fist expeditions. She was on the front lines with Erwin, and when they arrived back within the walls he had found out she was among the severely injured - she almost lost her bottom half but Mike had managed to slice the titans neck before it had the opportunity to consume her. She was asleep for a week, and when she awoke she was met with a pissed of Levi, and displeased Erwin and two disapproving gazes from Mike and Hanji. To say she felt like a child would be an understatement. After that, she hadn't come home from an expedition hurt. A few cuts and bruises, but never anything _too_ bad.

Petra came back not soon after and Alessandra made her way back to the end of the formation. Her shoulders were squared and her lips itched to form a scowl, her heart rate increased as she saw the tall green trees up ahead. The forest seemed dark from where she was, even as she drew closer the shade from all the trees cast an eerie darkness. The heat form the sun disappeared quickly after they entered the shaded forest, only small holes of light from the gaps in between leaves hit the skin on her face. Using the back of her hand Alessandra wiped her forehead, the rough leather of her gloves causing her to grimace.

"Captain Levi!"

Alessandra tilted her head so she could look at Eren, his face hadn't calmed in the slightest. In fact, he was sweating more than she was and his whole face and demeanor screamed worry.

"What?"

"Well," Eren's voice slowly rose, "We're in the middle of the woods! If the center enters alone, we won't know if titans are approaching! It seems somethings approaching us from the right... How are we suppose to dodge the titans or protect the carts?"

"Don't go on about the obvious," Levi answered, his voice its usual stoic tone, "We can't do that anymore, of course."

Eren gasped and stuttered out his response, "Th - Then why?"

"Look around, Eren," Levi answered, and Alessandra snorted as he continued to speak, "Look at all these big ass trees."

Eren looked up and Alessandra decided that she would finish the Corporals little speech, she tilted her head up as she spoke, her eyes focused on the large lush tree's above her, "The trees, Eren, are perfect for us. We can use the 3DMG perfectly around here in contrast to the wide open plans outside the forest."

"If you don't want to die, think," Levi continued right as Alessandra stopped speaking. Eren agreed and Alessandra shifted, using one of her hands to pat the side of the horse's neck. Her heart was beating a little faster than it should be, but she was both nervous and excited about the mission. She could say it a million times and still people would not understand just how much she meant it, but she had complete and utter faith in Levi and Erwin. That's why she would do everything in her power to ensure that they lived, even if it meant her dying.

Alessandra's eyes danced around, taking in the appearance of the rest of the squad. They were all confused, their faces filled with worry. Olou was muttering quietly to himself, Petra's eyes were wide and afraid, Erd had his teeth clenched together and Gunter's face was as hard as stone.

Alessandra frowned and clicked her tongue, her eyes darting to her hands as she squeezed the reigns tighter, she had forgotten that they had no idea what was going on.

She quickly lifted her head and looked over her shoulder, her voice rising so everyone could hear her, "Black smoke round!"

"It's directly behind us!"

"It's what was coming towards us on the right," Erd grunted, sweat beginning to accumulate on his forehead.

Alessandra immediately went for her blades, her fingers curling onto the cold metal just as Levi had ordered the rest of the squad to do the same.

"If we see it, it'll only be for a second," Levi continued, his eyes meeting Alessandra's for only the briefest of seconds.

Alessandra set her eyes head of her, refusing to look behind her as she felt the ground shake underneath her. Even with Vin galloping at full speed she could feel the weight of each footstep drop from the titan. She flinched, hearing a sickening familiar _splat_ sound coming from behind her - she didn't have to look to know that someone had just died. Instead, her and Levi's voice rang out at nearly the same time, "**_Go!_**"

The brunette flinched when the over-sized female titan crashed through a few trees, sending a few pieces of bark flying past her face.

"It's fast!"

"In these tree's, there's no way to foresee and evade its attacks!" Gunter yelled, his eyes wide as he looked at the titan to the squads rear.

"It'll catch up!" Erd shouted.

"Captain!" Petra called, her voice filled with panic, "Let's switch to maneuver gear!"

Alessandra tightened her grip on the cold metal handle of the blades, feeling the edges poke her skin through the leather. She looked at Levi's back, she had a feeling that he wasn't going to respond to his squad.

"Captain!"

The urgency and panic in Petra's voice made Alessandra visibly flinch, but when a familiar _buzzing_ and _whizzing_ of maneuver gear was heard behind her she relaxed only slightly. Sure, she had faith in the Survey Corps members... she just wasn't sure how much. Especially not when it came to the female titan, another titan shifter.

"Reinforcements from the rear!" Petra called, her eyes darting down to Alessandra before back up towards the titan behind her.

"Captain!" Petra screeched, "Your orders!"

"Lets go!" Olou shouted, "We should kill it!"

The sound of metal on metal sliding against each other rang out as Erd pulled his maneuver gear out. He growled over his shoulder, looking at the titan, "I'll rip you apart!"

Alessandra flinched when Petra screamed out her name instead of calling Levi's, "Alessandra, orders!"

Everyone began yelling after that, Alessandra's name getting mixed up with Levi's as everyone begged for orders.

"Everyone shut the hell up!" Alessandra snapped, her voice cracking mid shout.

Levi glanced over his shoulder, his brows furrowing as he glanced at Alessandra. His jaw tightened as he spoke, "Everyone, cover your ears."

The woman wasted no time complying, she quickly slid the dual blades back into place and covered her ears with her gloved hands. Alessandra squeezed her head, her jaw clenching from the amount of stress that she had started to feel when everyone began to yell. It was that reason that she wasn't fond of not telling them in the first place.

Levi pulled the gun from his side and raised it into the air, shooting it. Smoke didn't emerge from the gun like the rest had expected, instead a loud ringing nose echoed through the forest and Alessandra pressed her hands to the sides of her head harder. She couldn't help but close her eyes, the noise continuing to ring in her head even after she dropped her hands.

"What is your job?" Levi spoke up, disapproval lacing his tone, "To just let yourself be swayed by whatever your feeling at the moment? No, it's not. Our squads job is to keep the brat from getting a single scratch on him. Even if it costs our lives."

Alessandra breathed out through her nose, attempting to calm her beating heart. She never understood how Levi remained so calm during situations like these, never understood how he was able to wear the stoic mask he usually wore. Hanji had commented once on how Alessandra was so easy to read during missions, saying that she had such a wide variety of facial expressions. She tried, many times, to keep a placid and stoic composure. But it was often broken by a fight, or a fall, or seeing someone she barely know bleed. She couldn't help the expressions that flowed on her face, and she hated how during most fights she wasn't able to hide how she felt. It was much easier to hold a stoic mask during a meeting, or when she was training or even just walking around the Survey Corps Headquarters. But when it came to a fight, she could be read like a book.

And she hated it.

"We keep going on our horses, got it?"

"Keep going?" Eren asked, his eyes darting around, "For how long? It's right on top of us... Again! The reinforcements! If we don't help they'll be wiped out again!"

"Eren!" Gunter snapped, "Eyes on the road!"

Alessandra dared to look over her shoulder, trying to control the movements of her face. She pulled back the frown and bit into her bottom lip, she clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes so they wouldn't widen with surprise.

"Why!? If Squad Levi doesn't defeat it, who will?!" Eren yelled, looking over his shoulders, "Another one is dead! And maybe we could have saved him! One is still fighting.. Maybe we could make it!"

"Eren!" Alessandra yelled, her tone matching his own. He snapped his attention to her, the corner of her mouth was trickling blood and he noticed that the brown leather was wet and crimson, "I need you to shut the fuck up. These men were given the job to be reinforcements because we believed in them, our job is to protect you! By telling us to go and help you're not only insulting us but you're insulting them! They know what they're doing and if they die then they died fighting! Shut up! Look ahead of you!"

Eren seemed nearly unfazed, "Are you telling me to look away! To abandon my comrades and run!?"

"If you want to put it that way, yes!" Alessandra snapped, her cheeks flushing a light pink from her building anger, "Obey Levi's orders!"

"I don't understand why we're leaving them to die!" Eren exclaimed. Alessandra breathed out through her nose once more, quietly reminding herself that he was just a boy, "Or why he won't explain! Why?!"

"That's because the Captain decided the reason should not be explained," Olou cut in, annoyance lacing his tone, "You just don't understand because you're still green! If you get it, then shut up and obey!"

Alessandra's eyes narrowed as Eren slipped his blades back into the holders at his hips, he raised his hand to his lip and stared at it with wide eyes. The brunette clicked her tongue in annoyance, "Do you have such little faith in us, Eren?"

The boy stopped, his hand still raised to his mouth. Alessandra spat out her words, disappointment clearly lacing her tone, "You think that we should be taken lightly? Do you have such little faith? You are only allowed to do that if the situation is life threatening, and I'm riding without my blades out! I'm not one for believing in promises, so if you bite your hand then you're only adding fuel to that fire."

"You promised us!" Petra cried, her eyes transfixed on Eren.

Eren went to bite his hand again but Levi spoke up, causing the young boy to pause, "You aren't wrong. If you want to do it, do it. I can tell.. he's a real monster. And it has nothing to do with his titan power. No matter what power you use to suppress him, no matter what cage you put him in, he will never submit to anyone. Eren, the difference between your decision and ours is experience. But you don't have to rely on that."

Alessandra knew where Levi was going with this, and she just hoped that Eren would make the choice they all wanted to hear.

"Choose. Believe in yourself. Or believe in the Survey Corps and me," Levi paused, "I don't know... I never have. I can believe in my own abilities of the choices of the companions I trust. But no one ever knows how it will turn out. So choose for yourself, whichever decision you'll regret the least."

Alessandra frowned, knowing the meaning behind his words. She knew what he was thinking about, and she was sure that he knew what would pop up into her mind. Both of them had made choices that they later regretted, it torn them apart on the inside but it did bring them together as individuals.

Eren reached over to bit into his hand once more and Alessandra gritted out her next words, "All I had asked... was that you believed in us."

Eren stared at her, wide eyed and silent for a couple of seconds that seemed to drag on like minutes. She could see the boys internal struggle, but her patience was wearing thin.

"Eren!"

Alessandra glanced up at Levi, his tone of voice was different. It was harsher and just as impatient as she felt, Levi's words were rushed and Alessandra wanted to say something stupid just so he would go back to his usual composed self.

"You're taking too long! Decide!"

"I'll go forward!"

Alessandra released a shaky breath, but her relief didn't last long when the titan began to pick up speed. She slapped her calves against the side of her horse, apologizing quietly as she bent her body forward - she was in the very back, she would be the first to go if it caught up.

"Target is accelerating!"

Alessandra stomach churned, she nearly forgot about Erwin's plan. She needed everyone to go faster, that way she wouldn't have to go into their 'back up' plan. If it caught up any further.. then Alessandra would have to step off the horse and switch to 3DMG, "Keep going! We'll outrun it!"

Her heart was pounding so fast that she was scared that it would pop out of her throat at any moment. She felt foolish telling Eren to keep calm earlier, how could she give advice when she could barely follow it? Her hands tightened against the reins, she knew that the traps would be to her left side which meant that she won't be able to see them unless she turns her head fully to watch that side. But she can't afford that, so instead she just focused forward. She stared at Levi's back, her heart racing as she took in his tense form. She should have known that he would react just as badly as she did, he was just better at controlling his emotions.

Alessandra nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Erwin's voice followed by the sound of multiple sling shot canons and arrows being fired. She coughed slightly on the smoke and dust that lifted into the air, blinking away any debris that might have touched her eyes. Her heart was pounding against her chest and she breathed out, relieved.

"Advance a bit further then tether the horses," Levi commanded after a few heavy seconds. He finally turned around on his horse, staring at the squad, "Then switch to maneuver gear. You guys will be off on your own for a while, Alessandra lead the squad."

"Of course."

Levi began to stand on his horse, "Once your a good distance away from the titan, hide Eren. Take my horse."

Alessandra held his gaze as he spoke, she wanted to tell him to be careful but knew that it would embarrass her more than it would him. She gave him a slight nod as he shot out his maneuver gear, gliding away graceful. Alessandra shut her eyes and squeezed the reins of the horse.

_Be careful._

* * *

{**AUTHORS CORNER**: WOW THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY LONG. Alright, I went on vacation and forgot to mention it so heres a really long chapter for my lovely readers, I hope you like it because you know which part is next. Thanks for the reviews! This one goes out to Night of Shadows' Embrace because their review made me super duper uber happy like ugh thank you.}

[**P.S.** - I reread this like a million times but I'm sick and I have a killer headache so I am so sorry if there are mistakes please tell me where they are if there are any and I will fix them asap. /smooches/]


	8. Outside The Cage P2

**CHAPTER SEVEN: OUTSIDE THE CAGE [PART 2]  
**

* * *

_You can't break me  
Crush the fears of yesterday  
You can't save me,  
Barriers of trust will fade.  
_

* * *

[**SONG CREDIT**: Not Ready To Die by Avenged Sevenfold]

* * *

"That was his plan from the very start!"

Alessandra looked at Eren from the corner of her eyes while she pushed her hair away from her face, it was beginning to bother her and she was already worried about Levi, she didn't need any small nuisances at the moment.

"I can see why he wouldn't have told the new troops," the boy continued, "But why wouldn't he tell you, when you've all been with the Survey Corps for so long?"

"Shut up!" Olou shouted, annoyance lacing his tone.

Petra's voice cried out, full of anger, "Are you saying the Commander and the Captain don't trust us!?"

Eren stumbled, "But.. that's what this means!"

"Petra!" Olou cried, pointing one of his blades at Eren, "Rip his teeth out!"

"Shut up," Alessandra snapped, her tone filled with annoyance. Her head was starting to pound with a headache, her stress levels were no doubt high and her lack of sleep was causing her to become short tempered. Everything was starting to pile itself on her shoulders, and the heavy weight of it all didn't sit well with Alessandra. She had a bad feeling, and she was hoping it was just that.

A feeling.

"Eren's right. There's a reason Erwin couldn't trust you guys," She continued, adjusting the gloves on her hands.

Erd seemed to sigh and Alessandra figured he knew what she was about to say. Out of all the squad members, she seemed to always see eye to eye with Erd, although they weren't _close_ his mindset was similar to her own when it came to combat. Thus, resulting in them usually teaming up during combat. Besides Levi, he was probably the one she trusted most out of the squad. Not to say she didn't trust the others, because she did, she just put a little more trust in the tall blond. That, and he would always bring left overs that his wife made. So, she just appreciated him a little bit more because of that.

"Like what?" Gunter asked, a frown on his face.

Alessandra's eyes skimmed over everyone, she had pushed her bangs completely away from her face so the blind eye was visible. Light from the gaps in the tree's shone on her face, and everyone could see the bold difference in color. Her right eye was a beautiful clear blue, while the left eye was a ghastly pale blue - almost white. The iris was deformed slightly, not a perfect circle like most.

"The only reason he wouldn't trust you," she began, lifting one of the blades to examine, "There is someone who can become a titan, or someone who is helping them, in the Survey Corps."

"A spy?" Gunter muttered to himself, his gaze falling to the forest floor, "Is that possible?"

"At any rate," Alessandra muttered, a slight frown tugging at her lips, "Erwin is certain."

"Why do you know then, Alessandra?" Eren asked, her brows furrowing in confusion. The woman blinked at him.

"I'd imagine," Erd spoke up, crossing his arms over his chest, "The only soldiers who were told of the plan were those who've stayed alive for the past five years."

The blond looked to Alessandra for confirmation and she shrugged her shoulders, humming in acknowledgment, "I suppose."

"So that's it."

"Must be."

Petra sighed, "If that's the reason, I understand."

Eren's eyes traveled over to Alessandra, her brows were furrowed together and her gloved hands were gripping onto the two blades loosely. Her shoulders were slumped and her lips were slightly spread apart as she breathed. Overall, she looked relaxed.

"He's assuming that five years ago," Petra spoke, "When the wall first fell, a spy infiltrated our ranks. And that's how he narrowed down the possibilities."

"So," Erd spoke up again, "A spy killed Sonny and Bean?"

Alessandra snorted, hearing the ridiculous names again. She took a step forward and smiled sheepishly, she shrugged her shoulders dramatically - almost comically, "I knew you were all smart enough to be in this squad."

"Back then, the Commander asked me something about that," Petra muttered to herself, ignoring Alessandra's weak attempt at easing the slight tension.

Alessandra shook her head and sighed, having a good idea at what Erwin asked. He was an odd man, she thought, but he was smart - so that often made up for most of his odd qualities.

"Do you think the Commander was wrong?"

Alessandra turned quickly at this, a few strands of loose hair tickling her cheeks, "No, he wasn't wrong."

"That's a biased opinion -"

"Shut up," Alessandra snapped at Olou, her voice not holding as much malice as she wanted. Instead, she sounded tired, "Disregarding my friendship with the Commander, I don't believe the choice he made was wrong. You never know how things will end up, it's always a gamble. Will I lose my life today? Will I get to go home and sleep? Will I have soup or chicken tomorrow? Everything we do is a gamble, and until we make a decision and let that decision play out, we won't know what will happen. Men died, that much is true. But if they died to let us advance in getting to know the titans, and allowing us to get rid of a traitor... Then their deaths weren't for nothing. Erwin made his choice, and I'm sure there could have been a hundred different choices. I'm sure there was a choice that more lives were taken, as well as a choice where less lives were lost. But Erwin decided on this choice, and I will stick beside that."

"Eren," Erd started, nodding at the end of Alessandra's little speech, "You don't know it yet, but you will soon. The reason that Erwin Smith is entrusted with humanity's hope, The Survey Corps."

"Just look how much Captain Levi and Alessandra trust him!" Petra added, cocking her hip to the side and smiling softly.

"If there's anyone who can bring change to humanity," Alessandra spoke, looking at her reflection in one of the blades she was holding. Sun gleamed off of the shiny steel blade and Alessandra squinted her eyes, "It will be someone willing to sacrifice what they care for. It will be someone who can throw aside their own humanity, in order to defeat... _monsters_. Someone who can't sacrifice anything, will change nothing."

Everyone stared at the woman for a moment, as she examined her left eye with the shiny blade almost nonchalantly. Eren opened his mouth to speak, to ask her about her eye, but before he could utter the words out the forest shook and whistled, a loud cry echoing around them. Alessandra grunted, her eyes widening just a fraction as she looked around, the scream seemed to echo off of the trees and hit her a million times over - shaking her to the core. It was **loud**, loud enough to make her want to cover her ears but she resisted. Instead, she tensed her body and stood in a stance that would allow her to fly up as quickly as possible. It didn't take long for Alessandra to hear and feel the pounding footsteps after the scream had ended. She glanced around, trying to figure just which direction the titans were coming from. Her heart gave a tight squeezed when she finally realized that it wasn't just one direction.

It was all directions.

"Into the air, now!" Alessandra ordered, the lines on her 3DMG immediately shooting out and towards the tall trees. The others repeated her actions and followed Alessandra quickly. Eren thought it was odd to see her at the front of the group, considering she always liked to be in the back. She flew through the tree tops quickly, her head turning from side to side every so often. She had often expressed her displeasure for being in the front of the group, saying that she preferred the back because it allowed her to "see the whole board". No one was entire sure what she meant exactly, but they went with it.

Alessandra stopped and landed on a large branch, a point of view that allowed her to see the cloud-free blue sky. The blue smoke round was floating up in the sky and the brunette frowned, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"Looks like it's over," Gunter stated, stretching his back, "Back the horses, prepare to retreat!"

"You heard the man," Olo grunted, standing up, "Let's go see what the bastard inside looks like."

"Make sure your gas tanks and blades are filled and tight," Her tone assertive, letting them know that this was an order. Alessandra's gaze was still fixated on the now dissipating blue smoke, the frown still present on her lips, "Then we leave."

"Roger."

"Got it."

Alessandra trusted that her own gear was fine, she had double and triple checked it this morning when she had woken up early. So she waited while the rest of the squad followed her order, Petra and Eren checking their gas tanks while Erd and Gunter were checking their blades. Olou stood obnoxiously, already finished checking his things apparently.

"Will we really find out who it is?" Eren asked.

"It's thanks to you," Petra smiled, tightening the lid on her gas tank.

"I didn't really do anything," He muttered back, a frown on his face.

"You had faith in us," Petra answered, peaking around her gas tank to look at Eren, "This is the result of your choice to trust us back then. Making the right choice isn't easy."

"Oi," Olou's voice cut through, "Don't spoil him, Petra. He was pathetic, he just kept whining."

"Now you know what it's like to spend time with yourself," Alessandra spoke up, her voice monotonous. Olou cursed at her but she ignored him, a sinking feeling was in the pit of her stomach. It all seemed to happen _too fast._ The capture, the scream and then the signal to retreat - it all felt too easy.

"Let's get going," Alessandra stated just as Olou began to rant to Eren that his mission didn't end until he was home safe in bed. The brunette sighed, thinking about how good a bed actually sounded. She shot her 3DMG out and arched her back, her stomach tightening as she _whizzed_ forward - Erd and Gunter being the first to follow her.

"Olou, Petra," Erd spoke, turning around to face the two. Alessandra peaked over her shoulder curiously, "You guys pissed your pants and cried on your first mission. You're all grown up now."

Petra screamed and Alessandra couldn't stop the snicker that left her lips.

"Don't say that!" Perta yelped, her face flushing, "What if he stops respecting me!?"

"It's true?!"

Alessandra slowed down so she was even with Petra and Eren, Erd and Gunter were a couple paces in front of her. A goofy smile was plastered on her lips as she snickered, "She sure did."

"I didn't, by the way, Eren," Erd spoke up, a small smile on his lips as his eyes turned to look at Alessandra, "I heard you cried."

"Haven't cried in years, mate," Alessandra chuckled, a lazy smile on her face, "Didn't piss myself either, though, I almost died... I think."

"You _think_?"

"Idiot!" Olou barked, looking at Erd, "I've killed more of them than you!"

"That doesn't mean anything," Alessandra rolled her eyes, "You still cried."

"Shut up, idiot!"

"Petra," Eren spoke up, Alessandra looked at him and began to laugh loudly when she heard his question, "Does that mean you sprayed it everywhere while mid-air?"

"Shut up! Do you think you're on a picnic! We're outside the walls!" Gunter scolded, attempting to sound authoritative, "I didn't piss my pants, either, Eren."

Alessandra snorted, "Gunter is right, let's focus and then make fun of Olou and Petra when we get back. Alright?"

Erd shook his head while Petra and Olou cursed at Alessandra. She snickered at them while making her way to the back of the group - commanding Erd and Gunter to take charge at the front. They knew it wasn't her giving up her second in command position, she just worked better when she was in the back. It went back to her wanting to "see the whole board".

From the corner of her right eye Alessandra could see thick green smoke and she sighed in relief, thinking the same thing that Gunter was. That it was Levi.

"We'll rendezvous with the Captain," Gunter stated as he landed on a tree branch, he immediately pulled out the smoke gun and fired a green round into the air.

Alessandra breathed in the smell of the trees as she flew in the air. The breeze was calming her nerves, the shade making the trip cool instead of mucky and warm. A light sweat still spread across her forehead but it was nothing that bothered her too much. Alessandra had always loved using the 3DMG, and although she wasn't even qualified to be in the top 10 during her academy days, she was damn good at using the gear now. Experience with the maneuver gear helped, though she nearly died once because of her lack of knowledge on it at first, she managed to "practice" with Levi. She arched her back again, her hair flying past her ears followed by a small _whoosh_ sound. She almost felt at ease, that was until she was yanked back into reality hearing Gunter yell out "**_W___****ho** are you?!"

She snapped her head to the left, cursing herself for having such a blind spot. She nearly dropped her blades when the figure she just noticed dove towards Gunter, slicing him across the chest and sending him flying towards one of the trees. Her throat immediately went dry and her eyes widened, she couldn't tell if her heart was beating so fast she couldn't feel it - or if it had already stopped beating. The name made it's way past her lips as an angry snarl instead of a tortured cry, "_**Gunter**_!"

The immediate shock of how fast she lost one of her men hit her harder than Levi ever could. Not only did she see him die a few feet away, but he died by the hands of another. Not by a titan, but by the traitor who Erwin was trying to catch. Raged consumed her like no other and she breathed in an out in an attempt to control her beating heart. If she let rage blind her then she would not only die herself, but so would the others. She was in charge, and she had to make sure that the rest got home to their families.

"Go forward!" Alessandra yelled, urging herself to fly even faster. She could see Olou grab Eren from the peripheral of her right eye, "Protect Eren at all costs!"

"Dammit!" Olou yelled, "What do we do! Alessandra!?"

"There's no more time to go to the horses," Alessandra yelled, her heart giving a slight squeeze, "Head for HQ as fast as you can! Keep moving forward! You hear me? As fast as you can!"

Alessandra bit into her bottom lip and she could feel her throat burn, she wanted to scream.

"Is it from the female titan?" Olou asked, his voice still high pitched, "Or is there more than one?"

"Damn you," Petra's voice began to raise, "Come at me! I'll defeat you, even if it kills me!"

"Petra!" Alessandra snapped looking over her shoulder, her eyes widened when the figure that was following them suddenly dipped back and disappeared. Her breathing quickened and she could hear her heart pounding in her ears, rattling her entire body to the bone. The ground shook and steam enveloped the trees that they were all flying through, a darkness surrounded them. Alessandra cursed loudly before screaming out to the rest of the squad, "It's coming!"

The sight of the female titan did nothing but make Alessandra want to throw up, she could feel the coffee she drank in the morning threaten to pass through her lips but she hid the feeling and replaced her look with a look of determination. She was determined to finish this mission, determined to keep everyone safe and bring everyone home. She **had** to.

"Keep moving!"

She had never pushed the team so much before, she had never pushed herself so much before. Her stomach was aching from contracting her abdominal muscles and her back was beginning to bruise since she kept stretching her limbs, her 3DMG straps tightening with every move. She was surprised her gloves didn't rip since she was holding onto the handles of the blades tightly.

"How dare you," Eren growled, turning around, "This time, I will defeat it!"

"No!" Alessandra yelled, her voice cracking. Millions of options were running through her mind, but she spouted out the first one that made sense, "The four of us will kill the female titan! I need you to head to HQ as fast as you can!"

"I'll fight too!" Eren argued.

"No!" Erd yelled, immediately agreeing with his second in command, "This is the best move, your power is too risky!"

"What?" Olou asked, "Do you doubt us?"

Alessandra felt it was hardly the time to yell at him for asking such a thing, but it didn't stop her from wanting to. Instead she turned to Eren, her voice steady and commanding, "I asked you to believe in us, right? Believe in us like Levi does, believe in _me_. I am here for a reason, we are here for a reason. Humanity's strongest chose us, do you know what that means? It means we're strong!"

Eren looked at her with wide eyes before grunting and turning around, shooting out the wires of his 3DMG while yelling over his shoulder, "I believe my squad will be victorious! Good luck!"

Alessandra nodded in response and turned around, the rest of the squad following her lead. Her thoughts were racing, her eyes scanning every inch of the titan to see if there was an obvious weakness. She couldn't help the contraction of her heart when she thought of Levi.

Was he safe?

"Let's go," Alessandra growled, diving towards the tree's.

Erd, Olou and Petra immediately went to the face, while Alessandra attempted to make her way around the Female Titan, hoping to get a good view of it's neck. She grunted in displeasure when the titan's large hand clasped over base, giving away any chance she currently had of slicing through and pulling out the traitor. Her face contorted, rage beginning to take over but not cloud her judgement just yet. She looked at her squad, the same feeling of determination was oozing off of them as well. She lifted her arm and used the flat side of her blade to pat the area under her armpit, telling them that that's where they needed to cut. The squad nodded and set off, Olou and Petra flew towards the right arm and Alessandra and Erd flew towards the left.

Blood flew in the air, a couple droplets falling on Alessandra's cheek as her and Erd sliced into the arm. The two looked at each other and nodded before setting off once more, both of them slicing so fast that Alessandra was sure that it was a new record for herself. Her jaw was clenched and the warm droplets of blood continued to fall, but she kept going. Images of Gunter flashed through her mind and the sounds the soldiers that died echoed in her ears. She wouldn't let her get away, not again. She wouldn't let their deaths be in vain. Alessandra grunted and she could hear the others giving their own war cries as they sliced into the Female Titan. She dove away once she was done, quickly wiping the sweat from her brow.

"They're down!" Erd called.

"Now the neck!" Alessandra yelled, pulling fresh blades from the metal box of her 3DMG. Her muscles tightened and tensed as she raced forward, towards the base of the neck.

"Strike the neck now!" Erd yelled, he had dove first and Alessandra was just a foot or two being him.

She blanched, her eyes widening and her breath catching in her throat as the female titan opened it's mouth and dove forward, catching the tall blond mid attack. The crack of his spine and the disgusting squish of him being bit in half was nearly enough to make her vomit, but another scream tore past her lips instead, "Fuck!"

Alessandra dove back, nearly crashing into the forest floor because of her quick backtrack. Her eyes were wide and it took everything in her to not start shaking, she pressed her teeth together as she looked at the titan. It had only healed one eye, one eye in nearly 30 seconds. She cursed loudly again, feeling the hot tears begin to pool. She blinked them away quickly, swallowing the large lump in her throat.

Alessandra's eyes glanced around and she noticed Petra falling towards the forest floor, stuck in a state of shock. Alessandra dove towards her, but she knew she wouldn't make it in time. She was beside Erd and Petra was on the opposite side of her with Olou, "Petra!"

It was too late, wasn't it? The sound of Olou screaming Petra's named echoed just as the female titan kicked her against the tree, her blood painting the bark. She had little time to even think before Olou snapped. She was in full blown panic at this point, all rational thoughts were beginning to disappear. She couldn't calculate any plans because 3 of her squad members just died. And she could do nothing but scream, "Olou, no!"

She didn't think either, as she dove after him.

She was being selfish, she didn't want to see someone else die - she couldn't handle it.

Her whole squad.

Her comrades.

Her _friends_.

Olou was kicked out of the way just as soon as Alessandra was closing in on him, his body diving towards hers so fast that she couldn't move out of the way in time. She was already flying towards him at top speed, so moving out of the way wasn't even an option.

Blood flew past her lips as she felt one of his broken blades pierce right under breast, his own head knocking against hers harshly. The wires of her 3DMG failed her and she fell with Olou, crashing onto the forest floor so harshly that her vision blackened almost immediately. Despite this, she was still awake, she was blind but still awake. The drop itself pushed all air out of her lungs and she could hear herself begin to struggle to breath, Olou's heavy weight on top of her only causing her to struggle to catch her breath even more.

The pain was everywhere. Her head, her back, her stomach, her chest.

_Everything hurt._

She could feel the warm blood, staining her clean white shirt a dark crimson. She could feel the wetness of it touching the front and back of her skull, from hitting Olou's head and then hitting her head on the forest floor. She could smell the strong copper from the open wound caused by Olou's broken blades. It **hurt**, it all hurt. How could it all happen so fast and still hurt? Olou's heavy body on top of her own wasn't helping the fact that her breathing was slowing down now, and Alessandra laughed bitterly in her head.

It was what she got for teasing him so much.

She could feel her heart slowing down, and the dark cloud that obscured her vision began to make her feel heavy.

Is this what dying felt like? Was it really so painful? So heavy?

She breathed out, the noises around her beginning to die out just as the pain was reaching it's breaking point.

She was dying, she was sure of it now. The heavy weight on her chest seemed to disappear, and the pain was either so much she couldn't feel it - or death was being nice and allowing her to die painlessly. She breathed out, her thoughts drifting to Levi and Tevin. She wanted to cry, she didn't even get to see Levi one last time. She didn't even get to say all the things she's thought over the years. The man was her best friend, they both knew it. It was an unsaid truth, but now she wished she would have said something. Now, here she was.

Dying.

At least she would be reunited with Tevin.

Would Levi hate her dying? She hoped not. She didn't even want to die, not today. Not _this_ way.

It was all so unfair.

She felt herself being lifted, and she wanted to thank Death for being so courteous. She wanted to open her eyes and tell Death that she had more to do, that she wasn't ready. But her body felt heavier and heavier by the second and she could feel herself fading away. Instead, Alessandra settled for just one request, she just wanted Death to deliver one message for her.

_"Sorry."_

* * *

****EDITED****

{**AUTHORS CORNER**: HAHAHHA THIS CHAPTER HURT MY SOUL BUT GET READY CAUSE FLASHBACKS ARE COMING AND THOSE WILL HURT ME EVEN MORE.}

**[EXTRA NOTE** - I want to dedicate this chapter to a couple people! Obviously I want to thank everyone who has commented, favorited and followed. It means so much to me! It really makes me want to update sooner when i get feedback, honestly. So, thank you! _Also_, I'm SERIOUSLY considering posting a BLEACH story soon! I'll announce on this story when/if I post it so if you like BLEACH keep an eye open for that!]

(**SHOUTOUTS** - I LOVE YOU ALL BUT I WANT TO DEDICATE THIS CHAPTER TO THE FOLLOWING: Night of Shadows' Embrace, Angelgirl11095 & Shekame.)

[[**HEAD CANON 5** - Levi and Hanji have both commented on how smart Alessandra truly is, but her impulsive and stubborn nature hide the fact that her IQ is even higher than Levi's.]]


	9. My Name

**CHAPTER SEVEN: MY NAME  
**

* * *

_You loved me and I froze in time_  
_ Hungry for that flesh of mine_  
_ But I can't compete with the she-wolf, who has brought me to my knees_  
_ What do you see in those yellow eyes?_  
_ 'Cause I'm falling to pieces_

* * *

[**SONG CREDIT**: She Wolf by David Guetta ft Sia]

* * *

He didn't know what to do.

For once, Levi was unsure on how to approach or even cater to the woman who he's known for years. It was uncharacteristic of him to not know what to do with her. When she was hurt, he was one of the first to tend to her wounds. When she woke up from a nightmare, he was the one who was always at her bed side. When she was fighting, he was usually the one to watch her back.

The _one_ time he doesn't. The one time he _isn_'_t_ there.

She nearly dies.

He had felt as if he had lost sight of everything, seeing her as she was.

It was literally hours ago that he had seen his squad bloody, beaten and dead. He thought Alessandra was gone, the small rise and fall of her chest was barely viable with Olou on top of her. Levi's chest ached like it never had before, and for the first time since meeting Alessandra he was deathly afraid that he was actually going to lose her. He had lifted her up and set her against the tree, regretfully having to leave her to go retrieve the stupid brat. Getting Eren back took longer than he would have liked, and Levi tried his best to stay focused on just him. It was hard, considering one of the few people he had come to truly care about was bleeding to death in a titan infested forest. But a mission had to be complete, and he knew that if he saved Alessandra over Eren - the woman would never forgive him. So, Levi did what he thought _she_ would want. Not what Erwin wanted, or even what he wanted. Levi did what Alessandra would have wanted.

After getting Eren back and placing him in the care of Mikasa, Levi had immediately gone back to Alessandra. He was glad that she was still breathing, and he took her as quickly - and gently - as he could back to the others. He held her bridal style, making sure that he wasn't holding her too tight, but tight enough that he could feel the rise and fall of her chest. He used his cravat to stop the bleeding on her chest wound, pressing it against the hole. She was covered in blood, her white shirt and pants were more crimson than anything, and blood covered her face from the head wounds. She bleed all over his clothes, but for the first time in a long time, he didn't even care. Hanji had taken her from him soon after and the two had tended to her injuries away from the group, Hanji with a frown on her face as she did so. Levi tried not to cringe as he wiped the blood from her face, the large bruise forming looked painful. The stab wound was longer than he thought and she had more cuts on her body than he originally thought, Levi had to look away so his emotions wouldn't spiral out of control. Of course, Hanji noticed - but she said nothing as she tended to her friends wounds.

Alessandra was then placed in a cart close to Hanji and Erwin. The whole way there, he expected Hanji to start yelling - either saying that Alessandra had died or that she had woken up.

But neither cry came.

She didn't wake up.

She didn't wake up when they got back to the Castle.

She didn't wake up when Levi placed her in her bed.

She didn't wake up when he gripped her hand and quietly asked her too.

She didn't wake up when Eren stood at her door and apologized.

Alessandra didn't wake up until a couple hours later, when the Castle was dead silent. She woke up screaming her throat raw, scaring Levi and Eren half to death as her loud screech echoed in the silent Castle. Levi couldn't say he wasn't happy she was awake, but he certainly wasn't happy that she woke up trashing. The white bandages that covered her body were moving around and beginning to color themselves red, her wounds opening up from her harsh movements. He tried to pin her wrists down with his hands, but she would just kick her legs around. He was utterly at a loss for a moment on what he should do, so throwing any rational thought out the window he went with what he _wanted_ to do instead of what he should do.

He held her.

He pulled her to his chest, her face resting in the crook of his neck. His legs tangled with hers as he lied next to her, their chests pressed up closely together. Levi held her, feeling the wet droplets of tears slid down his neck. He held her when her hands clawed at his body, searching for something to grasp until she finally just clung to his loose long sleeve shirt. Holding her is the only thing he could think of doing, it was the second time in his years of knowing her that he's seen her cry.

And he was at a loss.

The strong woman who he had seen improve over the years had cracked and reformed back to the woman he saw the day they first met. The broken girl he had seen, bloody and nearly naked in the Underground.

It felt like forever until she stopped crying, and she only stopped because she tired herself out and had fallen asleep. With a clenched jaw and an aching chest he untangled himself from her arms and went to redress her wounds. Levi stared at her, her face was contorted into a look of pain, her eyes and cheeks swollen and red from all of her crying. He had dressed her in a loose tank top and a pair of old shorts, they allowed him the easiest access to all of her wounds. Honestly, if she hadn't nearly died just hours prior he would laugh at the way she looked. She looked like absolute shit, covered in bandages from nearly head to toe. Her right arm was wrapped from the wrist down her palm, her left shoulder was wrapped up and ended at her elbow, her head was wrapped in white bandages, her torso covered in them as well, and her legs were wrapped from the thighs down past her knee. She looked ridiculous, wrapped up in so many bandages. Levi sighed, pushing her hair back from her face softly, getting a look at the large bruise that covered her forehead. He traced his finger along the side of her face, causing her to release a soft sigh and relax. The man frowned, retracting his hand and moving to leave the room - glancing back at her once, just to make sure she was really sleeping.

Levi made his way back into the dining room, conversing little with Eren since his thoughts were still on the woman in the other room. He sipped his tea carefully, his mind then drifting to Erwin. The man said he would be here in a couple hours, and Levi wasn't entirely in the mood to wait for him. He much rather just order Eren to go to bed and then go to bed himself. Though, as he thought about it, he probably won't get much sleep. Levi turned his head in a slight confusion when Eren began to splutter, his eyes wide as he stared right past Levi.

"A - A - Alessandra you shouldn't be up!"

Levi growled, twisting around to look at the woman who was limping their way, leaning heavily on a crutch that Hanji had given Levi. The Corporal stood and strode over to her, taking long quick steps and growling to himself. Alessandra raised her head and smiled weakly at him, she opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off, "Just what are you doing?"

"I can't be in bed," she frowned, her jaw clenching. She grimaced slightly as she took a step towards him, causing her to stumble. Levi caught her with ease, she was breathing heavily - no doubt in a considerable amount of a pain - she squeezed his arm, barely getting the words out, "_I can't be alone._"

Levi clenched his jaw and sighed, helping her to the table - his face expressing his displeasure. A part of him was glad that she was still stubborn, that she could walk to the table - even if she needed his help. He eased her onto the chair, her hands gripping onto his arm tightly - like a frightened child clinging to their mother. She winced when he let go, and Levi couldn't help himself as he reached over and brushed the hair out of her face again. She gave him a weak smile and turned away, her eyes focusing on the table. It was quiet as he studied her for a moment, she was breathing heavily and twitched every time she lifted her hand or moved her head. Her cheeks were still red from the crying she had done, dark circles were under her eyes and the bruise on her forehead just seemed to get darker and darker every time he saw it.

"Aless - "

"Eren."

Levi narrowed his eyes at the woman, her gaze was focused on the table. Her shoulders were slumped forward, one arm holding her stomach and the other arm hanging limply at her side. The boy opposite to Levi straightened, nervously pointing to himself, "Y-Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Her voice never broke, despite her weak and fragile state, she still spoke strongly. Her brows knitted themselves together, her thin lips pulling into a frown as she continued to speak, "Do you still think I'm strong, despite me nearly losing my life?"

Eren's eyes widened and Levi made a motion to object, afraid that Eren would lie and Alessandra would feel worse than she already did. The survivors guilt was going to eat at her, Levi knew it. But before he could stand and say something to stop the teen from speaking, Eren spoke up.

"Yes."

Alessandra moved her eyes away from the table and looked at Eren, his lips were set in a thin line and his brows were furrowed together, his hands were balled into tight fists. He stared at his fists, his lips moving down into a frown as he spoke softly but evenly, "You're one of the strongest people I know, and now I think you're even stronger. You kept a level head while fighting and the others put all their trust into you, despite you having a disability. I - I understand now why Captain Levi trusts you so much. 'Cause I trust you too, you - you fought with all you had and almost died. I'm thankful that you did all that just for me... I still think you're strong."

Alessandra blinked, attempting to rid her eyes of the tears that threatened to fall. Still, the blinking didn't work, and a couple tears slid from the corners of her eyes and down to her chin. She moved her eyes back down to the table, her voice quiet, "I see."

"Alessandra."

The woman ignored him, and instead snapped her gaze back up to Eren. She furrowed her brows and set her jaw, "I want to tell you what I should have told my squad."

"_Alessandra_ -"

"Let me do this!" She snapped and turned to look at Levi quickly. She grimaced and a choking sound left her lips, her hands were balled into tight fists and she shook, her body still aching. Levi reached out but stopped when her eyes snapped up to meet his. They stared at each other for a couple seconds that felt like minutes. Levi sighed, giving only a slight nod before leaning back in his seat - he would let her do this. Alessandra swallowed spit, her mouth felt dry and she could feel her heart threatening to pop out of her throat, "Before I start, I should tell you something. First, I need you to swear that what I'm about to tell you never leaves this room - understood?"

Eren nodded, "Understood."

Alessandra looked up the ceiling, blinking away tears. She took a deep breath and turned back to look at the teen, her body was tense and her voice matched, "Curtis isn't my real last name, it was the name of an old friend who I hold very close to my heart. His name was Tevin Michael Curtis. I - I took his last name after he died. You should know, my name isn't Alessandra Curtis. My name is Alessandra Smith."

* * *

{**AUTHORS CORNER**: Now you know why Erwin was so adamant on having her close. Being his half sister will do that. SORRY IT'S SO SHORT THOUGH, IF I ADDED THE REST THEN IT WOULD'VE JUST BEEN TOO LONG SO I DECIDED TO SPLIT IT INTO TWO CHAPTERS I'M SORRY. Thanks so much for the follows, favorites and reviews! They literally inspire me to get chapters out so much quicker and ugh thank you! Also, I made this a lil' fluffy cause I just really love them and I haven't done a lot of fluffy stuff yet.}

[**EXTRA NOTE**: _SO_. I completely dropped the idea of a Bleach story, _good thing I never published it_. BUT, I do want to write something when I'm not in the mood for SNK... So I have two fandoms in mind right now and if I have _anyone_ willing to read please, PLEASE comment! I'm thinking about writing either a **_HAIKYUU!_** story or a _**KUROBAS**_ story! So, if anyone is interested let me know!]

[[**HEAD CANON 6** - Levi and Alessandra have both seen each other naked a couple times. While Levi has the courtesy to look away, Alessandra openly stares.]]


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